Monday, October 09, 2017

Clift Barwell Injures Hand While Buying Seven Halloween Costumes

Security video from a costume store shows actor Clift Barwell accidentally stapling his hand to a piece of paper while buying seven disguises from a Halloween store in the downtown area of Mulch Park.

"I thought it was a gag. I just feel terrible for laughing," said Mimi Schrader with a light southern drawl and a shrug. "He seemed so nervous. I just thought he was, you know, flirting..."

According to the video, Barwell bought a tiger costume, a Secret Squirrel costume, a secret service agent costume, a turnip costume and two more which were blurry. Experts, after observing the video, assert that he bought the disguises in order to better hide from Naptimez Ova!, the scary street gang led by a re-energized Billy Plimberton, who has sworn revenge on Barwell for leaving his reality show when ratings dipped.

When asked where he went, Ms.Schrader pointed to the door. "Just look for the guy with the bunch of coupons in his hand." Video testifies to the veracity of her response to Bluegreenplant reporters.