Monday, June 11, 2018

Change of Venue Awarded to Estelita Case

The total disappearance of Judge Plankton G. Smith after his house, with him inside, was unceremoniously consumed by a sinkhole has resulted in authorities getting creative to maintain the case's momentum.

At a church service to pray for the soul of Judge Smith, court officials took advantage of the gaggles of news cameras to announce that the case of Estelita would go on. "It has already been handed off to Country Judge," said bailiff, Ronald Hines, after his boss, the county clerk, took ill from some bad croquettes in the hot Miami sun. "We are sure that Judge Cludderman will provide the justice we need." He was referring to the star of the hit reality show Country Judge.

Hours later, a mysterious posting appeared on Estelita's Twitter page. It read, "All the planets are aligned."

People are hoping that this change of venue will lead to progress in the search for Billy Plimberton and his terrorist gang. Estelita has admitted that she knows of their whereabouts, but she refused to speak to Judge Smith, the jurist who was sucked in to the ground, God rest his soul.

Friday, June 08, 2018

New Fad Complicates Search for Terrorist Fugitives

A group of middle schoolers is sitting in a park relaxing with their cell phones. A reporter approaches them and asks, "Which one of you is Billy Plimberton?" Sure enough, all of them raise their hands.

A new fad is sweeping youth culture lately. It is called The Naptimez Ova Challenge and it involves impersonating the Golden Domerz youth gang and walking around in public. The Golden Domerz youth gang is also known as Naptimez Ova.

Videos posted on Youtube have (( Naptimez Ova Challenge ))shown teenagers impersonating the youth gang, also known as Naptimez Ova, and taunting police officers. One particularly grisly video of police body cam footage showed a youth in Texas with an especially realistic Billy Plimberton costume being pulverized by five cops.

Public and school officials around the US are spreading the word, telling young people not to participate in this dangerous fad.

Wednesday, June 06, 2018

Judge in Charge of Estelita Case Disappears

Last night, a bull-headed jurist, exhausted from a full docket of court cases, Judge Plankton G. Smith, told his wife he wanted nothing more than to brush his teeth and curl up in bed with a good John Decure Novel.

It was the end of a stress-filled day of incessant questions from the press-- questions about the case of Estelita, a psychic accused of helping the Golden Domerz, a street gang which has been declared a terrorist organization.

His wife described his sleep as restless. She reported, "He kept shouting in his sleep, You're out of order! You're out of order! --He kept flailing his arms and when he woke me up for the third time, I couldn't fall asleep again. I was having horrible thoughts. I was so mad at him, but now I am grateful because he saved my life. I feel bad for wanting to kill him."

"You must really miss him now," consoled the Bluegreenplant reporter. "Please continue explaining the story."

She composed herself, took some kind of tranquilizer pill and continued. "I got up for some hot milk. Next thing I know, the microwave is crawling away, like a giant mouse. A possum! And I hear this creaking sound; or maybe it was like a bear growling?"

"Did the microwave go into the sinkhole?" asked the Bluegreenplant reporter, trying to keep her on track.

"Oh yeah, along with my mug of milk. I followed it a while, but then it disappeared. And then I heard an enormous crash I said oh my stars! And I looked up and I saw stars. The flipping roof was gone! Five minutes before, I was just in that bed! The bed was gone. The whole half of the house wasn't there! I told him we should stay in a hotel!"

At this point, the pill took effect and the interview was over. At sunrise, rescue crews found no sign of Judge Plankton G. Smith. The only thing that rescuers managed to salvage was Smith's copy of He Said She Said, by John Decure. A carefully positioned bookmark stated wordlessly that he was only halfway through the book.

Monday, June 04, 2018

Rescue Searchers Searched for and Rescued

Members of the Mulch Park, Nebraska delegation of volunteer searchers, also known as the Mulch Park Posse, panicked as they accidentally dropped their cell phones into Everglades muck one by one while trying to call 911.

"We took a wrong turn at Buffalo Tiger's Air-boat Rides and got stuck in quicksand," stated a shirtless man covered with pink mosquito bites and red scratch marks. He was carrying a Luger handgun with the words Stand Your Ground  engraved on the side. "We almost died. I used all my ammo when I saw a anaconda and a gator coming towards my wife. Scary shit! But I keep my cool always."

The vigilante's wife seemed unimpressed with the heroic tale and gave off a vibe that she and her partner were in mid not-so-domestic quarrel. She had a mild sunburn, but did not sport the itchy bug bites. "Well, it really wasn't quick sand. It's just that he is in such bad shape, he couldn't get himself out of that mud." she surreptitiously sprayed herself with insect repellent.  "And the gator and snake turned out to just be a stick and a log."

When the Blue Green Power Plant reporter left them, they were being hosed off by their rescuer, a swamp buggy operator named Clint. He announced that he would take them to the Miccosukee Indian Cafe for fried dough balls.

Sunday, June 03, 2018

With Still No Sign of Barwell or Plimberton, Estelita Decides to Talk

Exactly one hour after a sinkhole opened up under the property of Miami-Dade County Judge Plankton G. Smith, a psychic who has been in custody under contempt of court charges and charges of helping a terrorist organization, has agreed to testify in court, but only under certain conditions.

The psychic, Estelita, without access to a computer or cell phone, once again posted on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. She posted the following cryptic comment: I told you!. Then she added that she was ready to cooperate. She specifically requested a change of venue--"I will never answer a question from Plankton G. Smith." She announced that she would only speak in the court of Judge Cludderman, the star of the highly rated reality show, Country Judge.

When contacted for comment, Judge Cludderman announced that he was happy to help and he had not been so pleased since earlier that week when he had bacon fried to perfection in a skillet of possum fat.

Friday, June 01, 2018

Estelita Says She Knows Where the Golden Domerz Are

Famed psychic, Estelita, stated in court that she knew exactly where the Golden Domerz street gang was hiding out, but when Judge Plankton G. Smith ordered her to reveal the location, she refused to tell. "I know exactly where they are, Judge. I see them in my mind's eye. But I will not tell you."

Then the judge brought out the big guns. "You will tell the court their location or you will be held on charges of contempt." He pointed at her with the handle of his gavel.

"I contempt you, Judge." With that she stood up and bailiff Ronny Hines escorted her back to the jail.

In the meantime, police forces on both the local and federal level are using sensing equipment to locate the street gang, also known as Naptimez Ova. The city of Mulch Park, Nebraska has also sent a group of men and women wearing black  t-shirts with the words search party on them.

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Judge Upgrades Charges Against Estelita

An audible gasp was heard across all of the internet when famed psychic, Estelita, once again posted on all her social media accounts without access to a computer. "She has been locked up in a cell all by herself the whole time," said a bailiff who wished to remain anonymous. He had a scar across his cheek, red receding hair and lunch with his mother yesterday. "She hasn't touched a computer; this gives me the creeps cause now she is getting mad!"

Estelita's brow knitted and her lips pursed and her face remained in that position as she left the courtroom yesterday when Dade County Judge Plankton G. Smith upgraded the charges against her from helping a criminal organization-- to helping a terrorist organization to perpetrate violence.

The social media posts that mysteriously appeared seemed to be trolling Judge Plankton G. Smith, who recently bought a mansion at the beach. The post read, You had better sell that shitty property or plan on stocking it with fish. It's all going to be ten feet under water soon!

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Mulch Park Takes Leadership Role

The city council of Mulch Park, Nebraska has declared the Golden Domerz to be a terrorist organization--thereby opening doors to interstate cooperation in the manhunt for Billy Plimberton and his twelve followers, also known as Naptimez Ova.

The reactions of the Residents of Mulch Park are mixed, to say the least.

"I think it is horrible," stated Mabel Gibbs, owner of the Natural Thunder Cafe. "They were such nice boys until they suffered the trauma of being abandoned by their father, Clift Barwell. It is all Barwell's fault; that selfish bastard."

Others disagreed. "Barwell did the best he could. When he left the kids he did so to get a substantial upgrade in his career. It was a no-brainer. He had to do it. The kids didn't have to become a terrorist gang. Barwell is innocent," stated Chuck Gibbs, also owner of the Natural Thunder Cafe.

At the current time, the whereabouts, or life-signs of Barwell are nowhere to be found. The Golden Domerz have been laying low as well.

Monday, May 28, 2018

Psychic Estelita Charged and Locked up

The story was broken on the prayers and comments segment of Family Judge starring Judge Cludderman. The folksy judge became as serious as a newly-hired bailiff when he looked into the camera and reported that Miami psychic, Estelita, has been charged with helping a criminal organization to perpetrate violence.

Estelita, it is reported, used her powers to help the Golden Domerz locate reality star dad, Clift Barwell, even though it has been widely known that the youth gang is up to no good. It is not known where the Golden Domerz, the gang's leader, Billy Plimberton, or the victim, Clift Barwell are.

According to a Miami Police Department representative, "We may not know where the thugs or the victim are, but at least we have one person in custody--Estelita." The officer took a sip from a plastic thimble of cafe-Cubanito and continued talking. "The first question I would ask her is whether he's dead or not. It's pointless if he is dead. Of course I am not asking the questions around here, though I should be..."

So far, Estelita has not said a word.

Judge Cludderman has stated that he would be happy to try the case on his show in order to assure that Estelita gets a fair trial.

Saturday, May 26, 2018

Psychic Posts on Blog Without Access to a Computer

Even though South Florida psychic, Estelita, was in custody of investigators, who had confiscated her cell phone, she managed to post a cryptic message on social media which is giving people the creeps.

The chilling prediction appeared on Snapchat and Instagram and Twitter:

Plimberton and Barwell make peace or all shall perish!

"I was totally taken aback," said student Millicent Perez of Camilo Cienfuegos Senior High School. "Did I use that term rightly?" Millicent said that she was googling answers during a pop quiz at her school and noticed a strange smell in the classroom. "Then the air conditioning got super cold and it made the hairs on my arm stand up. Look!" She extended her arm to show the Bluegreenplant reporter and her arm-hairs were still standing up. "When I looked at my phone I saw the spooky message. It scared me so much that I threw my phone in my purse and didn't pick it up again for over thirty minutes."

At that same moment that Ms. Perez was receiving the message, people in all four corners of the globe reported the same cold wind, odd scent, and chilling message.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Fisticuffs at Magic City Casino

The Miami Police Department has been holding psychic, Estelita, as a person of interest since word on the street connected her to a murder-for-hire plot.

"It seems that the Golden Domerz found out about Clift Barwell's location by paying Estelita and having their tarot cards read," said officer Honrado Gomez, who put a cotton swab with DNA into a Ziploc bag. The Golden Domerz youth gang has been tracking Barwell so that they could seek revenge for his being a deadbeat father on their defunct reality show, The Children Who Need Help Orphanage. Officer Gomez continued, "You see, the trail went cold in Key West, so they decided to pool their funds and hire a psychic for twenty dollars. She told them exactly where he was and they ambushed him. Somebody got a bloody nose." He raised the bag in the air with officiality. "We'll get to the bottom of this. No fights on my watch!"

Although the Golden Domerz, also known as Naptimez Ova, and Barwell scattered, Miami Police are pleased to have Estelita in custody. "Oh,if we get her to talk we will know everything," said Gomez with a clap of his hands.

Monday, May 14, 2018

Bluegreenplant To Remain Neutral in Plimberton-Barwell Conflict

Bullies will get no satisfaction from the Blue Green Power Plant. Clift Barwell is at an undisclosed location and The Golden Domerz can not find an Uber driver who sympathizes with their goal of hunting down a human being, eschewing forgiveness. Cold blood is to say it in a word: repugnant and this Bluegreenplant reporter has to say that enough is enough!

That is why Bill Duckton himself has made an appointment to meet Emmy Award winner Clift Barwell at the old Flagler Dog Track, which is now the Magic City Casino, in Miami Florida. Duckton will negotiate an apology so this can all be put to rest. Quite honestly, this reporter is tired of all the pussyfooting and lolly-gagging which have resulted in an endless loop of Barwell/Domerz news in the news cycle.

Enough is enough.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Bluegreenplant Editorial: Are the Golden Domerz Upset because they are not Mad Anymore?

We at The Blue Green Power Plant cover the news. Not just the news, but the news that other news outlets often refuse to acknowledge. If something happens in Timbuktu or Timbuck-three, you can bet that a Bluegreenplant reporter is there, figuring out if our readers need coverage. We publish not only the news that could put us at risk, but we also publish the newest news. Hence the slogan: From newer news to newest.

If the Golden Domerz do not want us "spying on them", then perhaps they should stop being so newsworthy. Clift Barwell is a beloved figure in society. He has won an Emmy and his image, until recent years, has appeared on countless Fathers' Day cards. If the Golden Domerz proclaim that they are going to kill Clift Barwell, the public wants to know what and where the Golden Domerz are up to and going.

We hardly make any profits from our work and our salaries are, for the most part, low; so if Billy Plimberton looks more like Barney the purple dinosaur than a brooding Shakespearean Hamlet, we are going to report it.

This editorial ends with a period, not a semi colon.

Tuesday, May 08, 2018

Golden Domerz Feeling Guilty about Feeling Happy

Billy Plimberton, the leader of the Golden Domerz--also known as Naptimez Ova, was overheard on the dockside in Key West and his tone was decidedly happier than the image he has been cultivating for months. According to some observers, he has been having fun.

"Too much fun," Plimberton scolded himself. "I swore that I would get revenge and now I am just hanging around with my twelve followers and we keep finding ourselves playing games and doing old recycled skits for money from tourists. It's a blast!"

"I was going to give them a ticket for not having a permit," stated a local tourism policeman, but they were so charming and entertaining that I tossed my ticket book into the ocean so I could applaud better."

If the crowds at Mallory Square demonstrate, the Golden Domerz have taken on a charm offensive and it is suspected that Clift Barwell has drifted out of their sights.

Saturday, May 05, 2018

Golden Domerz Reduced to Thirteen People

The registered youth gang known as The Golden Domerz, also Naptimez Ova, has been reduced to a size of Biblical proportions. The well-known group of thugs has been wandering the landscapes of North America, much in the same way Jesus and his merry men scoured the Middle East.

"Nock off the analogies!" Texted gangleader Billy Plimberton, causing his contact at Bluegreenplant to respond, "Sic!"

"Sic Semper Tyrannis!" responded Plimberton, demonstrating that he obviously learned about more than just panhandling and cleaning firearms from the nuns at his childhood orphanage.

The Golden Domerz found themselves at the end of the line, having earlier mistakenly taken another wrong turn; instead of seeking revenge in our nation's capital, they observed a postcard-worthy sunset at Mallory Square in Key West, Florida.

Monday, April 23, 2018

How About an Ice Cold Coca Cola to Cheer up the Golden Domerz?

A sympathetic Coca Cola truck driver offered the thug-gang, Golden Domerz, also known as Naptimez Ova, a ride and nobody thought of verifying the destination. As a result, the somewhat diminished gang detoured drastically to the south. Instead of Washington D.C., the gang is now in Atlanta, Georgia.

"I didn't know who they were. Swear," said the big-rig truck driver. "I just saw these sorry SOB's walking down the highway arguing with each other. I decided to stop and offer them a ride." Arnie Bangston, the driver, was slender and strong, in spite of being a full time purveyor of the sugar-packed beverage. "I just assumed they were going to where I was going."

When asked for an explanation for the geographical bungle, gang leader Billy Plimberton, just sulked and grunted--that is until his eyes lit up when he was handed a wad of tickets to a free tour of the Coca Cola facility. As Plimberton handed out the tickets to his remaining crewmembers, he stated cryptically, "God provides."

If the Instagram photos are accurate, the Golden Domerz had a heck of a time touring the facility and swilling all the free Coca Cola they could drink!

Monday, March 19, 2018

Fair Weather Cheers Up Golden Domerz

A break in the bleak Southern Indiana weather, a big, round, sun, surrounded by a sky of Hoosier blue seems to have refueled the youth gang, known as the Golden Domerz and Naptimez Ova, into a happy, boisterous, group of children. They played soccer, had a snowball fight, and had a cartwheel contest.

"I haven't had so much fun in years!" shouted a young female who sported a tattoo of a golden dome on the small of her back. "Everyone is in such a good mood, even Billy!"

Sure enough, Billy Plimberton was in such a good mood, that he invited our Bluegreenplant reporter to rejoin the army in an embedded capacity. "No hard feelings!" Plimberton said to the reporter--and then proceeded to sing to no one in particular. As he sang he extended his arms and spun like Julie Andrews on an alpine mountaintop in The Sound of Music. "It is so great to have the sun out! I feel like a kid again!"

Just then, our Bluegreenplant reporter stepped in a thawing cow paddie. "I bet you haven't felt this way since you were in the the orphanage and Clift Barwell came and adopted you all, right?"

A cloud audibly covered the sun and Plimberton grimaced. "You are unembedded again!" he barked.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

When Plimberton Army is Refused Service at Sonic, All Hell Breaks Loose

In spite of the bulging wads of cash in leader Billy Plimberton's pockets, the employees at a fast-food restaurant in eastern Indiana decided to exercise their right to refuse service to anyone.

"We were not open to walk ups," insisted the manager, Terre Haute South Vigo High School graduate, Marvin Lee. "And our charter clearly states: Fast-food burger & fries joint with an old-school feel, including retro drive-in service. Drive in service means you have to have a vehicle. That group of thug-wanna-bes did not even have a car."

"It wasn't the thug-wanna-bes comment that really sent me through the roof," said Plimberton to a patrolman who was taking the incident report. Plimberton's teeth were chattering and his face was blue from the cold as he tightly wrapped himself in a service blanket from the trunk of a patrolman's cruiser. "It was the fact that the employee said he would not serve us because he was a big fan of Clift Barwell. I just lost it!"

Security footage of the incident reveals that Lee was wearing a Jerick the Dolphin Trainer T-Shirt during the incident.

Manager Marvin Lee called authorities from the roof of the restaurant where he positioned himself with a high powered firehose which he used to douse the Golden Domerz with icy water. Cops,who responded in riot gear, found the threat totally pacified and ordered some made-to-order American classics, signature menu items, and speedy service from friendly Carhops full of fun and personality. 

Plimberton and his army took their money to Arby's on Joe Fox Street, across from Affordable Dentures.

Friday, March 09, 2018

Bluegreen Power Plant Reporter Unembedded

The only reporter from a major news agency to be embedded into the Plimberton Army has been shunned and rejected, just for asking a question.

The reporter tossed and turned during his afternoon nap in front of a brick fireplace at the Lodge Hotel and Relaxation Spa off of Highway number 70. A gruff Billy Plimberton shouted, "You're unembedded!" over and over in this reporter's dreams, having a nightmare effect.

The rejection was precipitated by a Bluegreenplant observation that Plimberton had broken his commandments when a chill of wind slammed open the door of an outhouse he had been using behind an abandoned Circle K. He shouted something about his urine stream freezing in this damn cold.

The blue Green Plant reporter, who had been the next one in line for the facility, chose to walk to the Lodge Hotel and Relaxation Spa and use the facilities there when he learned that he had been unembedded.

Thursday, March 08, 2018

Plimberton Finds Special Commandments

Freezing cold seasonable weather has slowed the Plimberton Army, also known as the Golden Domerz and Naptimez Ova, as it approached the boarder with Illinois and Indiana. Still spirits are high amongst the leadership. Shivering and hiding any signs of weakness, Billy Plimberton announced that the ranks of the army had swelled. "We come across a lot of bored farmers who have joined us. This is the heartland of the USA and people here really like to fight for what is right! Our cause is just!" He gestured his arm towards a roadside field occupied by thousands of soldiers, standing erect and just waiting for orders. Just then, what looked like a stone tablet materialized in Plimberton's hands. "I found this under the overpass out there."

Steam was coming out of the nostrils of a very animated Plimberton. Then he read the one commandment from the tablet. "No complaining about the cold!" he said.

The Bluegreenplant reporter tried to get more answers, but Plimberton just turned and marched on, giving our reporter the cold shoulder. The army filed out for a seemingly endless stretch of time, but a number of soldiers remained behind--standing in the snowfield at rapt attention. Before going into the news-van for some soup, the Bluegreenplant reporter attempted to interact with one of these soldiers. No response. It turned out that the soldiers in the field were a thousand perfectly formed snowmen.

Tuesday, March 06, 2018

Expanding Plimberton Army Returns to Saint Louis

The Golden Domerz, also known as Naptimez Ova, returned to Saint Louis with expanded membership and expanded waistbands, with a leader who describes himself as "madder than an orphan whose long-lost dad shows up, raises his hopes, only to drop them from a point of high ratings and ego!"

Plimberton then shook an angry fist and had to breathe deep and calm down in order to pull out a diminishing wad of bills from his pocket. "This will cover the burgers and malts for the army," he said to an infatuated waitress on roller skates. "Keep the change!" The young lady swooned ever so slightly as the leader put on a pair of sunglasses from a dubious rest area.

When the Plimberton Army continued they were right on course--eastward on Interstate 70.

Sunday, March 04, 2018

Plimberton Claims Westward Drive Was not an Error

Naptime'z ova, also known as The Golden Domerz street gang, is retracing its steps after having pie in Topeka, Kansas. "We knew all along that we were going the wrong way, I mean, west." He looked at the pie shop and then towards the eastern horizon. "We took the longer route so we could recruit for our army."

Evidence indicates that Plimberton was not mistaken. The membership of the Golden Domerz, according to records, has more than doubled since their arrival in Topeka.

"Any more free pie?" asked one of the new membership.

"Now, we march!" replied Plimberton decisively. They were last seen heading towards Washington, D.C. One of the new recruits played a marching song on the harmonica until it was unceremoniously slapped out of his hands. He had been playing the theme from Jerik the Dolphin Trainer.

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Plimberton Extremely Angry

Billy Plimberton, the leader of the gang of thugs referred to as the Golden Domerz, also known as Naptimes Ova, has blown a fuse.

"It seems to me that anyone protecting my so-called dad, Clift Barwell, is complicit in a conspiracy against justice." Then he yelled, "JUSTICE WILL BE CARRIED OUT!"

He was so mad that he squeezed his juice box and sent a fruity stream arching high into the air. Then he took a breath and outlined his new plan. "We, the Golden Domerz, AKA Naptimez Ova, will walk to Washington DC and we will do what the bomb and the waterfall, the sausage factory, and whatever else failed to do! Clift Barwell is as good as dead! And he can take that as a threat!"

Just then, a elongated splash of juice, pulled down by gravity, damaged a loudspeaker, so the rest of the message seemed muddled--but still sufficiently clear. Plimberton and his army vowed to march from Saint Louis to Washington D.C., recruiting all the way.

With Plimberton's charisma and leadership skills, an enormous army, the likes of which has not been seen since 1812, shall converge on Washington in search of Clift Barwell.

Plimberton and his gang were last seen whistling in unison and marching westward out of Saint Louis.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Plimberton Plane Delayed in Saint Louis

Clift Bartwell breathed a sigh of relief when he received the following  text message from one of his fans, an airline pilot who just happened to be transporting the Golden Domerz, also known as Naptimez Ova, on his jumbo jet en route to our nation's capital.

Thug passengers think they are in Washington, but I landed in Saint Louis! LOL!

The pilot, who does not want his name mentioned due to his lack of professionalism, said that the whole Kit and Kaboodle got off the plane thinking the Saint Louis Arch was the Washington Monument. "Who knows how long they are going to be walking around in the wrong city. This is priceless," he chortled.

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Seattle Newspaperman Clues in Golden Domerz

It seems that the Golden Domerz street gang, also known as Naptimez Ova! have resigned from their jobs at the fish market in a famous district of Seattle. Their patience and sleuthing has paid off. A part time obituary writer for the Seattle Sun-Times who also supplies newspaper for wrapping fish has informed Billy Plimberton, the gangleader, that their prey, Clift Barwell, is actually in Washington, D.C. and not  the state of Washington. "It's OK," said Plimberton. "We saved a lot of money and got very muscular with the exercise of throwing fish all day. We can really pulverize someone now." He punched his fist into the palm of his left hand for emphasis.

Plimberton and the gang were last seen (and smelled) at Seattle International Airport in Tacoma, Washington, with first-class tickets for the nation's capital.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Confusion at White House

The floodgates of chaos burst open as two supposedly pardoned turkeys were released from a closet where they had been hatched-up since a pre-Thanksgiving ceremony. When the head of security recognized a certain secret service agent in the upstairs bedroom as someone he could not recognize, he hit the panic button.

"Literally," said the head of security. "I have a panel of video feed monitors and I watch them all for suspicious activity. Underneath the little TV's is a button that says panic on it. I pushed it because I realized that an impostor was in the president's bedroom looking at stuff."

The reporter from Blue Green Plant was about to ask another question, but the security head answered it before it could be asked

"This imposter was dressed as secret service, but I zoomed in the camera and noticed that the badge he was wearing had a squirrel on it. He opens the walk-in closet, but he doesn't walk in. Instead, two huge white turkeys come barreling out, as if they have to go to the bathroom."

"How do you know they had to go to the bathroom?"

"Because after they knocked the guy down, they ran down the hall to the first lady's bedroom and straight into her bathroom, but it was too late. I think the panic siren scared them."

The Bluegreenplant reporter made a joke which the security head obviously did not understand because he did not laugh. "It should be called a walk-out closet, not a walk-in closet!"

"Don't worry. We have a no-bid contract with Halliburton, one of the top companies, to clean the urine smell out of the president's carpet.

"Instead of a walk-in closet it should be called a walk-out closet because turkeys walked out." the reporter repeated with a improved humorous tone and timing.

Nothing. "Oh, and don't worry about the impostor." He has been neutralized. He is no longer a threat," he added as an epilogue. The interview was over.

 A presidential spokesman later pointed out that the trespasser probably entered during the previous administration.

The president was not in the White House at the time. He was playing a very short game of golf and then he was off to a full schedule of meetings at the golf resort.

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Golden Domerz Spotted on Plane to Northwest

"We are going out to hunt Bigfoot," exclaimed Billy Plimberton with swagger. The de-facto leader of the Golden Domerz gang, also known as Naptimez Ova, flashed a boarding pass which he printed at the Mulch Park Municipal Library for seventy-five cents.

The reporter for Bluegreenplant was not tricked by the dodgery. "Why really are you going to Washington?" asked the professional reporter, who is more professional than Tabby Lane, because Ms. Lane has been known to interject herself into a story in a vain attempt to shift the focus to herself.

"Just keep your eye on the obituaries!" nodded Plimberton as two of his fellow thugs laughed. "We've tracked him down!"

Apparently Plimberton was referring to his projected victim, actor Clift Barwell, whom he has sworn revenge upon for bad reality-show parenting. When a news outlet interviewing Barwell recently let it slip that the Washington Monument was visible from its secret interview location, Plimberton googled his travel agent for tickets to Seattle. Plimberton apparently is functioning under the false belief that the Washington Monument is in the Pacific Northwest.