Saturday, August 12, 2017

Judge Cludderman Lets Plimberton off With a Hand Slap

Unemployed actor Clift Barwell has cried foul at the recent judgment which concluded the case of sunglasses thief, Billy Plimberton. "A hunting we will go!" spattered Barwell into the previously clean microphone of a Bluegreenplant reporter. "That's what he was singing as he walked free!" Barwell was referring to the comments of Little Billy Plimberton, the leader of the Naptimez Ova! street gang who has sworn to travel to the ends of the Earth to get revenge on Barwell, his deadbeat father from a defunct reality show. "I'm in danger! They want to hunt me down!"

It seems that Judge Cludderman decided to go easy on Plimberton after he heard testimony about what a rough childhood Plimberton and others had in their orphanage. The judge recounted a story about a fishing hole and Plimberton politely listened. Plimberton complimented the judge's fancy watch and asked if he could buy it. After making the purchase, he let the judge keep it as a gift. When Plimberton offered to wash the Judge's Cadillac Escalade, the kind country judge's heart melted. "You are hereby absolved of the charges. And you can keep the glasses you allegedly stole," he said with a wink and a blow from the gavel.

Outside the courthouse, in spite of the crowds of reporters, Clift Barwell feared for his life. "Owww!" he shouted in pain.

A newly free Billy Plimberton had just walked past him on the sidewalk and "accidentally" stepped on his foot.