Thursday, August 13, 2015

Bluegreenplant's Clickstarter Campaign Raking in the Dough

Apparently, there are still many who love the USA. Checks and cash from all four corners of the globe have poured into the Clickstarter account started by Jerry, the Bluegreenplant spokesman.

"There's no limit on how much I will collect," stated Jerry. "The more money I get, the more of a shebang the celebration will be! Ha ha ha!"

Jerry made his case for a salute to the USA in verse and poetry less than a month ago at:

Hershel Terseman, the statistician for the internet has stated that he never knew of such a quick and successful beginning for a Clickstarter Campaign.

USA Private Eye Breaks into Paraguayan Police Headquarters

Fueled by rumors about the possibility of Clift Barwell's having survived an explosive assassination attempt, a private investigator has returned to the landlocked South American country from the USA to "make sure that he is dead."

A photograph of private detective Dick Richard Clofterman has been identified by a street vendor as "the Gringo who broke into the evidence room of the Paraguayan National Police Headquarters," where he was apparently snooping around after shimmying up a drainpipe and squeezing in through a bathroom window on the second floor.

Authorities have been unable to locate Clofterman, but on social media he has posted selfies and video of himself posing with a half-eaten, desiccated, hot dog pilfered from a National Police evidence locker. In one video, he clowns as if he is going to eat the hot dog for lunch. In another, he gets serious and explains that he is taking the hot dog to the United States for a DNA test.

At the end of the same video, Clofterman again tries to be funny with a morbid joke. He holds up a Ziploc bag and its grim contents in front of the camera. "Hey," he shouts as he makes the bag dance around, "You are watching Clift Barwell's last movie!" Then he made an even more insensitive joke. "If you can't get to the Oscars, at least you can make it to Oscar Meyer." That callous and crude joke lit up the internet with strong criticism and even some death threats from die-hard Barwell fans.

Although, an official press release insists that the private detective was sent by Barwell's insurance agent, widespread rumors point to the murderous gang, Naptimez Ova! for contracting Clofterman for proof of death.