Sunday, April 20, 2014

Barwell House Exploded to Bits!

The house where Clift Barwell has been hiding in Paraguay just blew up to bits on live network television.  The announcer, visibly shaken by the events, screamed, "No! There were human beings in that house!" Media historians have already posited that his statement will live on, right next to Oh the humanity!

It looks like Barwell will definitely not be the star of Jerik the Dolphin Trainer Two.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Bored Reporters finally Grateful for something to Report On

The Siege of the little hidden bungalow which  has served as actor Clift Barwell's safe haven has been going on for a little less than two months. In the last four days it has escalated to a near explosive level.

Tourists have been politely asked to stop gawking and neighbors have been aggressively evicted for their own safety as well as for the construction of a future Walmart.

The little thugs have been chanting! "Naptimez ova! Naptimez ova!"

Any minute now it is expected that the house containing Barwell will see no more tomorrows!