Thursday, March 29, 2012

Children Win Judgement

Applause broke out in the courtroom of Judge Connie Blake as the little scamps from the "Children Who Need Help Charity" orphanage won by default a judgment against William Towelamp, who failed to show up for the trial. Towelamp's lawyer contacted the court before the judgement, citing four flat tires and the theft of his GPS device, which left him with no means of transportation to get to the courthouse.

The judge said, "Enough of these tiresome antics!" and pounded her gavel with justice.

The orphans are not sure what they will do with the billion dollar settlement. "Sally and Jasmine want to buy a golden dome for the front building of the orphanage," reported little Billy Plimberton, "but Lennie and I think we should hire some out-of-work Hollywood actors to play the parts of our parents, full time."

In spite of the case being the talk of the town, Towelamp remains in hiding.