Thursday, December 29, 2011

Hecot Smithly Comes out of Woodwork

As a Bluegreenplant reporter ran down leads, searching shop to shop on an Indiana side street, she met up with Hecot Smithly, a man who has been named as a person of interest in the case of the disappearance of William Towelamp. He proudly waited with his arms crossed in an informal way in front of a sign which read Smithly's Carpentry Shop. When asked if the Mulch Park Police Department had spoken with him, Mr Smithly replied in the negative, and seemed much more interested in flirting with the Bluegreenplant reporter than answering questions about the past.

"You are my favorite writer on the Bluegreenplant staff," said Smithly, more than once. He seemed coy about answering questions, hinting that he would be more comfortable answering them over dinner. He smiled gentlemanly and brushed saw dust from the front of his woodworking apron. "You probably know that I am divorced now, since you are a reporter."

Perhaps, this reporter dressed a little too nicely for the occasion, as Smithly was obviously distracted by her beauty. Through the open door, several electric fans were blowing on a box that resembled a coffin.

"A treasure chest," corrected Smithly. I just gave it a good shellacking.

As this reporter avoided commitment on the dinner date, she was splattered when a rude Indiana driver splashed her new Gucci-type Woven Leather Boots with muddy water. Smithly, the man who many years earlier had been the top story in the news due to a terrible accident, offered a handkerchief and held this reporter's recording device while she cleaned off her boots. "I am sorry about your new shoes," he said, "but I don't want to say anything about Towelamp's disappearance." The encounter was suddenly over.

This reporter checked her recording device later and found that Smithly had surreptitiously left the following message: "Miss Lane, It was a pleasure to meet you, so here's my statement. If Towelamp doesn't ever come back it will be too soon."  A pause. "He deserved to disappear. The world is better without him."

Smithly has held a grudge against Towelamp ever since Towelamp took advantage and made millions of dollars by making fun of Smithly's miserable accident.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Towelamp Disappeared from Face of Earth

"The dubious report from The Gossip Sheet has been checked out and it seems to be somewhat accurate," says a Blue Green Power Plant investigative team.

"In verifying the report that Towelamp is not in Metropolitan Hospital, Bluegreenplant has not been able to locate a single shred of evidence that suggests that William Towelamp still exists in this dimension," stated Bill Dafferty, reporter in charge of the investigation.

There has been no activity on his credit card. Traffic spy cameras have no record of him coming or going anywhere. His insurance company insists that the signal from a homing chip implanted in his shoulder petered out weeks ago. And his garbage man says that no new garbage has appeared in front of his house in ages.

It is as if he disappeared from the face of the Earth!


Thursday, December 08, 2011

Paparazzi Find Towelamp Missing

An unreliable news source has reported that William Towelamp is not in Metropolitan Hospital after all. A paparazzi team from The Gossip Sheet has reported that it infiltrated the hospital penthouse and found no occupants, zero.

The Blue Green Power Plant has sent a news-team to check out the veracity of the report, which, if true, will lead to more questions than answers.

A charge nurse, when contacted by phone, said curtly, "I told you he says he isn't here!"
Little Billy Plimberton, when contacted for comment stated, "I think he is afraid to face us in court."