Saturday, May 07, 2011

Hector Chen Makes Plea Bargain

When The Odd Prowler mentioned the tragic case of Hector Chen on Entertainment Tonite, wheels were set in motion to unleash his eventual freedom.

In an unusual plea bargain, Hector Chen will be allowed to go free, provided he brings Pooch, the stand-in for back to life. Chen is the first man convicted of giving rabies to a dog when the dog who pooch was standing in for bit the vector.

"It's just another case of what he does. He makes promises and doesn't keep them," said his ex wife at her mansion on the Paraguay River.

"I couldn't agree with her more," said his other ex-wife, who was sipping a coconut with a straw in it.


Sunday, May 01, 2011

Towelamp Seized at Royal Wedding

A small commotion at the British wedding recently went all but unnoticed when William Towelamp became irate and began cursing in English. "Bloody hell. I am supposed to sit here!" he shouted as red-coated soldiers attempted to extract him from a seat next to Sir Elton John in the section reserved for Knights of the Empire.

The millionaire Canadian industrialist showed a card that indeed vouched for his knighthood, but then a background check performed by a diligent bobby from Bermuda, verified that all rights to knighthood had been subsequently revoked.

"This sucks," summed up the Odd Prowler when he saw soldiers carting Towelamp away in a carriage. "He doesn't deserve to be treated this way."

After he was gone, the festivities continued, festivities which included two royal kisses.