Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Dog that Bit Hector Chen Quarantined


Due to the publicity generated when a dog actor nipped the hand of Hector Chen, scientist slash actor, and it swelled up, Charlesthedogactor.com has been quarantined for rabies.

The animal whined moanfully as an animal shelter worker did an interview with Bluegreenplant reporter, Angela Ramos. "If that dog dies, then Mister Chen dies. That's all there is to it!"

"But isn't there a treatment for rabies?" inquired the astute reporter.  "A series of painful injections into the abdomen with a foot-long needle?" Her beautiful black locks wafted in the air, scented with Lysol and animal grime.

"You know," replied the animal control worker. "We don't have many women as beautiful as you coming in here. I must be a little flustered." He shrugged and grinned. "Sure there's a cure. I guess we could give that to the dog."

Ms. Ramos, even the more gorgeous deflecting the flattery, responded, "Oh, I mean for Mister Chen."

"I suppose we could get some shots for Mister Chen as well." He smiled in a distracted way as the alluring reporter squatted down and gestured with kissing sounds toward the famous Charlesthedogactor.com, who cowered in the corner of the kennel.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Hector Chen Suffers Dog Bite

"Our tragic hero has hit rock bottom," announced the voice solemnly on the steps of the cafeteria at the Hotel Chiguiro in Downtown Asunsion, Paraguay. Then the microphone reverberated as Hector Chen received a supportive pat on the back performed by the Odd Prowler.

Next, it was the turn of Hector Chen to take the mic with the shaky grip of his bandaged hand. "I want to sincerely thank..." He rubbed a tear from his eye for effect. "I want to sincerely thank the Odd Prowler for saving my life." At this point, Hector Chen began blubbering. Then he continued, "...not one time, but twice."

The Odd Prowler smiled at the cameras, then ducked inside when a shouted voice in the crowd asked him about his immigration status.