Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Hector Chen to film Dogfood Commercial

Sources say that Hector Chen, Paraguayan Scientist and hero bigamist and illegal alien up north, has signed a contract to film a dog food commercial. It seems that he needs to replenish his coffers ever since losing in a double divorce trial and getting his nose bloodied in court by bailif, Tintin Coraje a short time ago.

"He must really need the dough," said the source, "because I hear that the dog-actor he is working with is a real unstable canine."

His two ex-wives have opened a windsurfing school and day-orphanage on the Paraguay river with their settlement. At least Chen's money is going to a good cause.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Hector Chen Denied Passport Renewal

In an unprecedented over-stretch of authority, a Paraguayan federal judge has denied Hector Chen's passport renewal application. Judge Oscar Tyler-Gomez of Asuncion has labeled Chen a risky traveler and stamped his file with his enormous gavel. "Why would he want a passport? Isn't Paraguay good enough for him?" said the judges spokesman, Bailif Tintin Coraje, an obvious patriot. "He wouldn't be trying to flee any upcoming court proceedings, would he?"

When contacted for comment, Chen replied, "It's ridiculous. I have nothing to fear from the court system. I respect the honorable judge, but as for his spokesman, he is a bedbug full of venereal infection and should be squashed. Wait, wait! Don't print that. It was off the record!!!"

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Hector Chen Photographed Hiding Fixtures

A Paraguayan parparazzi caught a series of photos of Hector Chen, scientist, hero and two-timing bigimist, removing fixtures from his residence and hiding them in an undisclosed location. Speculators have speculated that he is stripping the house in anticipation of losing it in his double-divorce trial.

Mary Tyler Gomez, lawyer for the two wives, has sought help from a psychic to locate the fixtures.