Monday, January 31, 2011

Tree Grows Leaves in one Day

A tree with no leaves mysteriously sprouted huge, green leaves overnight. This happened in Asunsion, Paraguay, where locals insisted it was a miracle.

"It's a miracle," stated a local with both palms on the side of his face.

Still other murmurings suggest that it has something to do with the Odd Prowler's appearance in the country.

"I think the Odd Prowler has something to do with this," murmured a figure who did not wish to be identified.

It was definitely a wild time.

Byline: Hector Chen, Scientist and new staff writer

Monday, January 24, 2011

Hector Chen Forced into Dilemma

After bonding over a couple of bottles of Paraguayan beer, two women claiming to be the wife of Hector Chen, national hero, have decided to divorce him in a class-action suit and buy a mansion to share on the Paraguay River.

They will be represented by a famous female lawyer, Maria Tyler-Gomez, who claims, "It is an open and shut case."

When asked to comment, Chen just stood with his jaw dropped and unblinking eyes.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Fisticuffs in Tickertape Parade

News photographers aimed and focused on the negative during a ticker-tape parade to honor the returned Paraguayan Scientific heroes. When two buxom ladies began swinging carefully manicured punches at one another, it was reported that each one claimed to be the wife of Hector Chen, the more vociferous of the two heroes.

When asked to clear up the confusion, Mr. Chen took the microphone in his hand and shouted, "Have you ever seen a parade like this?"

The confetti continued to fall.

Friday, January 07, 2011

Ticker Tape Parade in Asuncion

With a tap-tap of a surveyor's hammer, the two encased Paraguayan scientists were freed from their lava shells. "I am so grateful for this release!" shouted Hector Chen, the more vociferous of the two scientists. "Thank God for the Odd Prowler, who saved us from Limbo and oblivion!"

Everyone in the makeshift media circus at the foot of the rumbling volcano clapped. Some tears were shed.

When a media reporter from CNN rudely butted in front of a Bluegreenplant reporter who was already asking questions, the scientists were given the opportunty to speak their minds. "What are you thinking right now?" asked the CNN reporter as he jabbed a spitty microphone in the exhausted heros' faces.

"Um. What year is it?" asked one of the scientists while the other one nodded.

When told it was 2o11, the pair turned pale and the audience reached a reverse crescendo of a hush. "We went in there in 2010," said Hector Chen. "Now it's 2011. So we were in there for a whole year!"