Monday, March 22, 2010

Dafferty Esctatic About Ignot

Bill Dafferty has radioed from an undisclosed location that he is as pleased as punch that he won the court case to get his hands on the gold ignot which was found by a guy accompanying another guy who was looking for something else.

Word is that Dafferty may send his lawyer, Bill Duckton, to claim the treasured treasure.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Judge Makes Ruling: Dafferty to Get Ignot

A South Florida District judge has ruled in favor of Bill Duckton, acting as attorney for the absent Bill Dafferty, granting possession of the gold ignot found in a garbage dump by a friend of a lazy employee who was looking for a tiny character who lives inside an asteroid who is not Jesus and was accidently thrown out by an overworked cleaning woman.

"Since the personnel cuts," said the cleaning woman, "I have had to do the work of two people. It's impossible to keep track of everything."

In response, a supervisor at the Blue Green Power Plant remarked, "She should just be glad she has a job!"

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Employer Sues Trash Digger For Gold Ignot

Bill Duckton, claiming power of attorney for Bill Dafferty, has filed suit claiming rights to the gold ignot which was found by a sub-contractor who was hanging around Mount Trashmore with a man hired by Dafferty to find an asteroid with a tiny creature inside.

"It's my gold!" he stated at the yacht show earlier. "I was hired by Thistle anyway. Finders keepers. That's the rule from childhood."

Leon Thistle has not made claim for the gold, possibly due to embarrassment because he found it but was too lazy to pick it up.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Trash Digger Ecstatic

A bum who was employed to search for a discarded asteroid by digging through Mount Trashmore in Non-incorporated Miami-Dade County is dancing around in circles even though he isn't Irish.

After a long day of searching through the grime of his fellow residents, Leon Thistle found something bright and shiny, which looked like a bar of gold. He tried to pick it up, but found it to be very heavy so he moved on.

Then Mikey Gorgleson went to the same place and managed to pick up the object, albeit gruntingly. He took it to a pawn shop and was surprised to hear that it was a real gold ignot--made of real gold.

When asked what his plans were now that he is a rich man he responded, "I quit." He looked into a reporter's camera. "Do you hear me boss?" Also I would like to buy a big house, like the one that Towelamp guy has.