Thursday, February 25, 2010

Investigators Down in the Dumps

Investigators are sifting through garbage at "Mount Trashmore" in non-incorporated Miami Dade County in search of the asteroid with a waving creature inside which was accidentally thrown out by a cleaning person.

"So far we found a baby carriage with three wheels and my partner found a shoebox fulla gold coins. He ain't here any more," said Leon Thistle, who is now lead investigator. "I'm gonna keep on looking. I found some lottery tickets, but they were no good."

Friday, February 19, 2010

Asteroid Accidently Thrown Out

The asteroid with a waving creature inside was accidentally thrown out with the garbage while security guards were watching a Venezuelan soap opera's concluding episode on Univision. Apparently, a newly hired cleaning lady chucked the chunk of space rock into the dumpster behind the Blue Green Power Plant Building and automated garbage trucks picked it up as a beautiful sunrise emerged from the dawn to meet a new day.

"It was terrible, a terrible mistake," said Roncho Gomez, head of security at Blue Green Power Plant. "Angie married trevor only to find out that his true love was still alive and had escaped through a secret passage way in the coffin, but misunderstood that he was not really her brother after all." He sniffed. "But it all turned out well in the end. They got married."

Friday, February 12, 2010

Tiny Thing Inside of Asteroid is Not Jesus

Paraguayan astronomers have used strategy to verify that the tiny creature seen moving about in a hollow inside of an asteroid which crashed through the roof of a prodigious News Gathering agency is not the baby Jesus. as previously thought.

"We turned the tables on ourselves and used a microscope instead of a telescope," said one of the astronomers in a drunken stupor. "We didn't care what our colleagues were going to say. We wanted to find out what it was."

When they looked inside, they saw a creature waving, but it didn't look anything like the baby Jesus, as it was misidentified around Christmas time.

More studies and details are forthcoming, according to a maintenance man who was watching over the sleeping scientists.

Monday, February 08, 2010

Duckton Disappearance Raises Rumors On Internet

Chat groups and blobs on the internet are humming with rumors as to the whereabouts of Bill Dafferty, fugitive. It appears that he has escaped into a hole which was left by the Odd Prowler--a hole to the Center of the Earth.

Newly re-hired reporters Angela Ramos and Tabby Lane have been assigned the job of picking up the work left behind by Dafferty's absence.

"It's a damn shame," said Tabby Lane with her English accent. "And they are not raising our salaries a penny!"