Monday, January 26, 2009

Bill Duckton Calls Press Conference At County Jail



Bluegreenplant's Pluitzer Prize winner reporter, Bill Duckton, has called a press conference where he promises to answer every question that reporters have about his successful journey to the the Center of the Earth and back. He announced that he will be live online for a "chat with the superficials" in real time to answer any question from any journalist or regular person. His live web-chat-conference will be on The Blue Green Power Plant's Radio Internet Chatchannel at a time to be announced.

"First we will verify the President's schedule and then we will work around it to choose the best time for Mister Duckton's conference and chat session. We do not want him to upstage the president again," said Milo Ottenger, a spokesperson for Bill Duckton.

As Ottenger exited the room, a reporter for National Geographic shouted out rudely, "Why is he webcasting from the county jail???!!!" The spokesman for Duckton coyly monotoned in a deliberate way, "Wait til you hear where the odd prowler is from. It will knock your socks off."

Thursday, January 22, 2009

DUCKTON APPEARS ON EARTH'S SURFACE!!!


Bill Duckton has appeared on the surface of the Earth and with a good suntan to boot!!! People are breathing a worldwide sigh of relief to know that the hero is well.

"I am afraid that this Bill Duckton story is really going to upstage Obama," said Bill Dafferty, the writer of this article and co-worker of Bill Duckton. "I have an affinity for people named Bill, especially Bill Duckton. He is a hero," chimed Dafferty, who has shown a propensity to quote himself.

Duckton made his appearance at County jail, where he signed his John Hancock on a release form to bail out the odd prowler who was arrested outside of The Blue Green Power Plant headquarters over a week ago. Said the clerk at the jail, "I saw that signature and knew it was the famous guy who went to the center of the Earth. Heck, everyone reads that blog. I was gonna tell him that the odd prowler escaped, but when Mister Duckton went to the cell, there he was again."

When asked for a comment, Duckton just smiled in a Christlike way and walked out of the parking lot with the odd prowler tagging along.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Odd Prowler Makes Slick Escape from Jail Cell

The odd prowler who had been detained for loitering around outside of Bluegreenplant Headquarters while everyone was looking out the window waiting for Bill Duckton, ace reporter, who never arrived and therefore underscored everyone's disappointment, escaped from his jail cell.

"There was a hole. He went down a hole," said Manny Guppytrawler of the county jail.

Mr. Guppytrawler would have said more, but an alarm went off and he hung up on our Blue Green Power Plant reporter and therefore curtailed her information gathering endeavors.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Police Stumped By Identity of Odd Prowler

Police in unincorporated Miami-Dade County, Florida are turning to the general public for assistance in identifying the odd prowler that they arrested outside of Bluegreenplant Headquarters, located at the address of the former Burger King University in Miami, Florida.

"We have no idea who he is or where he is from. Plus, he don't help worth nothing cause he don't speak English," stated Officer Hoover Garcia of the Metro Dade Police.

He is between five and six feet tall, with dark hair and a small nose. If anyone can identify anyone with that description, call 911 to contact the police.

According to officer Garcia, no mental patients have been reported escaped from any local mental facilities.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Towelamp Gets Bailout Money


William Towelamp's bad investments have been bought up by the people of the United States of America, thanks to an emergency order signed by the President. "If I didn't sign it, the new president would have, so I am saving the new guy some work. This will help the economy and the economy will help the little guys out there who need to buy stuff. I'm doing this for the little guy," stated the president in a back room in the White House when asked by a Bluegreenplant reporter--the only reporter at this press conference.