Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Pilgrims Flock to Asteroid

A long line of religious pilgrims is growing outside of Bluegreenplant Headquarters in Miami, Florida at its location at what used to be Burger King University. All shapes and sizes of characters, some desperate, some funny, some curious, have traveled from all four corners of the globe to witness the baby Jesus in a hole, drilled halfway through an asteroid which hit the roof of the building before destroying a candy machine--scattering Mars bars, Skittles, and other confections all over the floor.

The roof was repaired by Bill Dafferty, who is recouping some of his costs by charging the pilgrims a small fee to wait in a long line and take a look at the baby Jesus.

"If anyone wants to come, they should bring fifteen dollars and no cameras allowed," said Dafferty, who stood next to a Paraguayan scientist who drilled the hole while drunk on hooch. Then Dafferty added, "Are you going to get in line? It's fifteen dollars."

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Drunken Scientist Freaks Out

A drunken Paraguayan scientist has gone rogue on the rest of his crew and began taking a core sample from an asteroid which sits next to a vending machine at the headquarters of the Blue Green Power Plant. He drilled a perfect vipterl (sample) and upon placing it under the microscope, proceeded to scream that he, "saw the baby Jesus."

A spokesman asked the press to note that it was Christmas Eve and that he had been drinking a South American concoction known as "Hooch."

Friday, December 18, 2009

Core Sampler Arrives From Paraguay

Paraguayan scientists expressed jubilation upon the arrival of the asteroid coring machine. "This is like an early Christmas present," they said. "We didn't think it would arrive so fast. You see our country has the most efficient package transport in the world!"

They plan to take a core sample of the asteroid that crashed through the ceiling of the Blue Green Power Plant Headquarters in Miami, Florida right after attending a combination party in their honor/Christmas party.

The festivities begin tomorrow evening. When asked when they would end, Scientist Chen stated, "Who knows?"

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Experts Baffled

The team of Paraguayan astronomers summoned to investigate the mysterious asteroid seem baffled by the celestial rock. "It's so heavy, I don't think God could pick it up." said Hector Chen, the leader of the team. We are going to have to take a core sample, which entails sending for a coring device. It could take weeks for the equipment to arrive."

When asked what kind of tests he and his team would be running on the object, he just said, "We are going to Disney World."

Word from DHL, the worldwide distributor of stuff, is that the core sampler machine will arrive from Paraguay in two weeks to a year.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Ice Cream Truck Driver Checks out Asteroid

"Actually it isn't an asteroid at all," proclaimed Manuel Maximo Gomez, an ice cream truck driver who works in the neighborhood where a huge, hot rock from space smashed through the ceiling of the popular headquarters of the publisher of unusual, but true, news stories, The Blue Green Power Plant. Manuel Maximo Gomez was famous in his home country for having published seven pamphlets about astronomy and physics. "It is a meteorite," he concluded.

With great enthusiasm and bluster, he vowed to call in experts who could pick up where he left off on the investigation. An appreciative crowd applauded simultaneously after his announcement that a top Paraguayan astronomer has already been sent for. "I have made so much money selling ice cream to gawkers, that I swear to take this project on as my own personal obsession--to find out what is inside this asteroid, um, meteorite."

Friday, November 27, 2009

A Very Generous Dafferty Indeed

Upon his return from the Thanksgiving Soup Kitchen, where he was serving soup to the impoverished, poor, and homeless, Bill Dafferty announced with much humility and charm that he would bankroll the repair of the roof of the Blue Green Power Plant Headquarters at the site of the old Burger King University in Miami, Florida, USA. The roof and ceiling were shattered when an asteroid plummeted from outer space and hit the building. Dafferty's Thanksgiving cheer really helped the building's occupants to get over their fright from the initial space-time occurrence.

"It was as scary as shit; it's still scary as shit," said a man who identified himself only as Bollenger, who was escorted out of the building--where he didn't belong. "That thing is still hot. Unlike that soup he served us." He pointed at Bill Dafferty, who was covered with confetti and smiles and adulation.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Asteroid Damages BluegreenPlant Building

A rock from space has hurtled into the roof of the Blue Green Power Plant building, shattering a water cooler and melting a candy machine.

"I saw it flying through space and then it sploded!" Said a witness, Barbell Breen, who was working in the area. "I am a roofer, you see, " he added. "I see all kinds of stuff up in the sky with my job."

"It was horrible inside," reported Bill Dafferty, who was in the building at the time. "There were Almond Joys all over the place."

Scientists have cordoned off the area for an analysis of the small boulder.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Government Questions Cash Transfer

Torry English, US representive from a district in Nebraska, has raised questions on the propriety of a cash transfer from the Cayman Islands account of the Blue Green Power Plant and into the personal account of Bill Dafferty.

"What's going on? I thought they were on the brink of bankruptcy and now I see an infusion of capital which is unprecedented in this sector of the economy?" questioned Rep. English on the Cat and Dave Morning Show. "I mean, they cut payroll, terminated more than two employees, and news has leaked out that it is all part of some scheme to make more money to rehire the old employees? Excuse me, but: What in the dickins is going on?"

The Blue Green Power Plant was mum when contacted by one of its few remaining reporters, but the amount of money is considered to be substantial. One of the remaining janitors has cited a crunched up piece of paper from the waste basket of Dafferty with the sum of two-million-seventy-seven dollars scrawled on it in blue ink.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Dafferty is a Hero This Time

Bill Dafferty has discovered an investment opportunity of a life time which will save the Blue Green Power Plant from its budget problems.

"I can't tell you what it is just yet, but it will knock your socks off," said Dafferty, who has agreed to let money managers at the Blue Green Power Plant in on the first floor. If they invest in my product, then they will recoup all the money they lost through mismanagement and we will be able to hire Angela and Tabby and the proofreadres ass well.

So it seems as if the economy is about to take an upturn!

Friday, October 02, 2009

Dafferty Complains of Pay Cut

Budget cuts at the Blue Green Power Plant have hit everyone but the most talented reporters. Bill Dafferty narrowly avoided joining the ranks of unemployed, such as Angela Ramos, Tabby Lane, and various proofreaders, by taking a slight pay cut and losing his life insurance.

"If I die, I'm worth nothing," quipped Dafferty. "But at least I have a job."

His boss told him to get back to work.

The only reporter to escape the axe is Bill Duckton, who recently won the Pluitzer Prize for his stories about his travels to the Center of the Earth.

Friday, September 25, 2009


In sharp contrast to the wild antics last year's celebration party, Bill Duckton's congratulatory party consisted of only three people this year. Yes, you heard me right. Bill Duckton has deservedly won the Pluitzer Prize for the year 2009.

It is his second Pluitzer prize in the same number of years. Judges were dazzled by his first-hand reports from the Center of the Earth, which told a tale of how confusion and fear of the unknown evolved into a welcoming embrace from one people to another and eventually a great friendship between him and the Odd Prowler.

Bill Dafferty hosted the congratulatory party. He stated, "This is truly exciting. I have invited over three hundred people to the party." His statement was perhaps a lie.

Of the people who showed up at the party, Bill Dafferty and Bill Duckton were joined by Manny Spencer, an engineer at the Spoonbill's Landing Condiminums.

We congratulate Bill Duckton, our two-timer! We are proud of you.

article written by bill duckton.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Axe Falls on Bluegreenplant Reporter

Because of budgeg cuts due to the economic situation, and because the Blue Green POwer plant has vowed never to charge its readers for blog content, staff has been reduced to two reporters, Bill Dafferty and Bill Duckton, and they will have to share the same office.

We are sorry to say that Angela Ramos and Tabby Lane have been let go. The decision had nothing to do with the fact that they were female, the ones who were let go.

Also let go was a male poofreader, so no sexism nor favoritism was involved.

It was suggested that maybe they could sell Mary Kay until the economy upturned.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Ex-Reporter to Get Free Psychiatric Evaluation

A school counselor from a local middle school in Miami-Dade County has offered his services to evaluate Angela Ramos, the Blue Green Power Plant reporter who has been lost in the Center of the Earth for over a year. Co-workers have reported her as being "grouchy and touchy" ever since her return.

"She seemed especially irritable when informed that she no longer has a job. She refuses to accept that the economy took a downturn while she was gone and she was the first to be laid off," said Mister Morton, school guidance counselor and future PhD candidate. "This is a textbook case of denial."

Mr. Morton will be paid a stipend of $100.00 for his assistance with Angela's case. He will get an additional $50.00 if she tells him whether she saw the Odd Prowler on her way out of the Center of the Earth.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Angela Ramos Blows her Top

Angela Ramos, the Bluegreenplant reporter who was either thought lost forever or forgotten, and then suddenly reappeared on the surface of the Earth, has given her first interview to explain her ordeal.

When the reporter from a blog called "Discount Calcium Tablets Provide Virility" raised his hand and asked the third question about the Odd Prowler, she hit the ceiling.

"What is this? Why don't you ask about me? All you guys ask about is this Prowler? Holy shit!" And then she stormed off to a waiting Blue Green Power Plant shuttle van driven by Bill Dafferty.

She told a gas station attendant later that she was "pist off" because nobody asked her if she was OK. Everyone wanted to know if she had seen the Odd Prowler on her way up.

She still hasn't answered the question about whether or not she saw the Odd Prowler.

Friday, September 04, 2009

Disappeared Reporter Appears!

Angela Ramos, the Blue Green Power Plant reporter who disappeared a long time ago when she went to the Center of the Earth to Rescue Bill Duckton, a colleague who she thought was lost, has appeared on the surface of the Earth. She met a weeping mob of humanity who was mourning the loss of the Odd Prowler, even though he is not dead.

"She looks great. She is not even pale," said one witness.
"I was sure she was dead," said another. "It's a miracle."
"She should go back down there and get the Odd Prowler back. He was such a nice guy."

After consuming Coca-cola and Saltines with paramedics, she promised to give an interview to reporters soon. The press is eager to find out what she has been doing all this time in the Center of the Earth, and whether she saw the Odd Prowler going down as she made her way up.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Odd Prowler Turns Up Missing

You could hear a pin drop in the City of Mulch Park, Nebraska as the Odd Prowler waved goodbye and jumped down the hole that goes to the Center of the Earth.

"He will truly be missed," stated a man dressed as a Roman Centurion and walking a poodle. "I don't know how I will enjoy myself at the costume party tonight, what with the Odd Prowler leaving us. He was such a nice guy."

A beautiful and sexy woman said, "His absence left a hole in my heart. I remember when he smiled at me when we were both in the same line and the cashier left us alone to grab me a pack of cigarettes. I smiled right back at him."

The Odd Prowler left the surface of the Earth because, he said, he was ready to go back home to his chicken farm, which he missed.

Distressed people abounded. A frantic French Canadian was beside himself with grief at the loss of the Odd Prowler. He said, "How can he be gone! He didn't pay his fare!" The middle aged man hid his face against his yellow taxi and let out a diatribe in French, which may have contained a few sobs.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Odd Prowler Promises to Reveal Real Name Before he Goes Home

Thousands of the inhabitants of the surface of the Earth, also known as superficials, lamented as the news was announced. The beloved children's book author and rescuer of Bill Duckton who brought an era of peace between perpetual feuders, Sir (sic) William Towelamp and Mayor Hecot Smithly has announced that he plans to return home. "I feel I have seen enough of your world and I miss my chicken farm," he stated to a reporter from National Public Radio, who rudely pushed his way past a Bluegreen Power Plant reporter.

He quelled the NPR reporters tedious tears by promising to tell his name to everyone as long as The Blue Green Power Plant reporter was given equal access. The NPR reporter reluctantly shifted to one side and the Bluegreen reporter squeezed through and shoved the microphone in the Odd Prowler's face. The Odd Prowler grinned, gave a thumbs up and said, "My real name is Ding Xiao Chen." Then he added a cryptic, "from Shanghai."

So far, nobody has been able to figure out why he made reference to a Chinese city.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Odd Prowler Makes Peace Between Smithley and Towelamp

The Odd Prowler has performed the impossible. He has inspired Billionaire William Towelamp and Mayor Hecot Smithley into shaking hands and saying: "No hard feelings." The two mortal enemies, also known as Sir William Towelamp and The Renaissance Man, met on the corner of Chipper Avenue and Gamma Boulevard in Downtown Mulch Park. After shaking hands, the mayor gave Towelamp a key to the city and William Towelamp gave a T-shirt to Mayor Smithley.

"If they can make peace, maybe we can, too," said a Saudi Arabian diplomat who saw an Israeli tourist at Disney World in Florida.

It was an inspirational day, until Smithley unfurled the T-shirt and noticed that it sported a picture of the man who was absorbed into a towel. "That's not funny!" he scolded.

"My bad. My faux paus!" admitted Towelamp, who made his fortune selling the shirts.

Hecot was absorbed by a towel several years ago and his administrative assistant says that "he still hasn't gotten over it completely."

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Odd Prowler Disses Bill Duckton

The Odd Prowler has stated on a Mulch Park radio station that he prefers Mulch Park to Miami, Florida, the city where his host, Bill Duckton, maintains his abode and high-paying job. "I think I will stay here," said the Odd Prowler.

When Duckton was contacted for comment he commented, "That's fine. He deserves a vacation. I hear Mulch Park is nice this time of year."

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Odd Prowler Gives Sir William Towelamp Five Stars

After paying his exorbitant bill with an emergency wire transfer of money from his friend Bill Duckton, the Odd Prowler actually gave Sir William Towelamp the highest number of stars for a restaurant review.

"The service and food were perfect. I had to give it five stars. One problem: a little expensive." That was the comment written by the Odd Prowler on the comment card which he turned in with the check after the meal. "Um; now I have no money and my taxi seems to have disappeared," he added.

It seems that the Odd Prowler is stranded in Mulch Park at the estate of Sir William Towelamp, a man who is on Mayor Hecot Smithly's list of terrorists!

"We are not going to give this guy credit. If you don't send him money, we are going to have to kick him out," said Sir William Towelamp, who is not only the host of the Odd Prowler, but also has been identified as a stockholder in the taxi company that left the Odd Prowler stranded!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Odd Prowler Wires Bill Duckton for Cash

The Odd Prowler has wired his friend Bill Duckton for Two thousand eighty dollars in cash so that he can pay the bill for staying at William Towelamp's house!

"This is just ridiculous. Ridiculous. It doesn't make any sense!" said a shopper at Piggly Wiggly when asked for her opinion of the situation as she read about it at the checkout counter.

According to Duckton, the Odd Prowler doesn't understand that the bill is inappropriate because he is from another culture, and William Towelamp doesn't realize the impropriety because he is a "goddamn skinflint."

"I wouldn't pay." said the Piggly Wiggly shopper. "Isn't that guy a terrorist anyway?"

Towelamp said via Twitter: "This guy got a huge check so that he wouldn't have to take a plane home. People sent him that money expecting him to spend it. I should get some money back. That's all there is too it."

The Blue Green Power Plant reported recently that William Towelamp was on the donors' list when a collection was made to help the Odd Prowler return to Miami in a non-scary way. "It is just ironic that he got lost," interrupted Bill Dafferty, reporter.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Mayor Hecot Smithly Declares Towelamp a Terrorist

Mayor Hecot Smithly of Mulch Park, Nebraska has appeared on a TV news program and declared that William Towelamp is a terrorist, qualifying him for special "enhanced" interrogation techniques from law enforcement.

"He has kidnapped the Odd Prowler," he stated with emphasis, "against his will!"

Towelamp, when reached by phone, stated, "Sir William Towelamp can not come to the phone right now. Please leave a message at the sound of the tone."

The Odd Prowler got lost when he tried to take a Canadian taxi back to Miami from an excursion to New York, where he was reading his new book to needy schoolchildren. The taxidriver, who shares the same nationality as Towelamp, claims to have gone off course accidently when ice cream dripped on his GPS device.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Odd Prowler is Guest at Towelamp Estate

Stimulus package billionaire, William Towelamp, has invited the Odd Prowler into his newly built estate on the outskirts of Mulch Park, Nebraska. The Odd Prowler got lost on his way to Miami Florida when his Canadian taxi driver spilled ice cream into his GPS device.

Sources stated that the Odd Prowler was treated to a dinner of Squab in turquoise sauce, caviar pudding with gold shavings, and a bottle of Amontillado wine which is over one-hundred years old.

Towelamp has been quietly re-establishing himself after his home was condemed by the Mayor of Mulch Park, Hecot Smithly. Towelamp originally planned to kick Mayor Smithly's ass, but refocused his energy when he was unable to ambush Smithly and his efforts proved futile. A source quoted Towelamp as saying, "Life is too short to spend all the time seeking revenge and holding a grudge."

When asked to expand upon his new philosophy, Towelamp told a reporter, "I never said that!"

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Odd Prowler Sighting

On a quiet summer day in the municipality of Mulch Park, Nebraska, a stout Canadian taxi stopped to ask directions. The person giving the directions recognized the passenger as the Odd Prowler and reported it to the FBI missing persons desk helpline.

"Do I get a reward?"

"You don't get any compensation until the individual in the memo is in custody."

"I got a confession to make."

"What is it." Officer Barnett was getting impatient with the caller.

The caller fumbled vocally, "I think I gave him bad directions. I couldn't understand that taxi driver. Sorry."

"We are on the case."

"But it's gonna be all right?"

A dial tone.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

GPS Breaks in Odd Prowler's Taxi

The taxi driver who has been hired by readers of The Blue Green Power Plant to safely drive the Odd Prowler from his successful speaking engagement in New York City to his safehouse, the home of Bill Duckton in Miami Florida, has Twittered that his Global Positioning Device device has floundered due to an ice-cream spill.

"The whole irony of the situation is that we all chipped in so that he would feel safe, after his plane crashed into a luggage cart in La Guardia after taxiing into the tarmac," said Pleasant Sanchez, a reader of The Blue Green Power Plant who donated fifty dollars to help the Odd Prowler get home. "I just wanted him to feel secure and now I can't imagine the terror and anxiety he must feel of being lost on the surface of the Earth."

Bill Duckton made allusions to ET, the Extra Terrestial. "No. He hasn't phoned home," he reported.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Odd Prowler Recieves Huge Check

A consortium of readers of interesting internet news sources has collected sufficient funds to send the Odd Prowler a check so that he can return to his home in Miami, Florida in a taxi instead of an airplane.

When asked to comment, the Odd Prowler replied in flawless English, "My home is not in Miami. That is Bill Duckton's home. I am from the Center of the Earth."

In spite of his failure to express gratitude, the press is sure that he is grateful.

He will begin his trip on Monday, in Burt's Taxi.

Investigative journalism has uncovered that the check was signed by millionaire, William Towelamp. When contacted for comment, Towelamp responded with gravity, "Air travel just is not safe. What if the plane hit a satellite or something? How did you get my number!?"

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Odd Prowler's Plane Crashes!

Metropolitan Airlines flight 298 from Fort Lauderdale to New York City crashed. This is the same flight that the much loved Odd Prowler bought a ticket on so he could travel to read from his children's book to schoolchildren in an impoverished neighborhood like Queens or Harlem. The most tragic thing is that they saw this coming. A psychic had broken her silence during one of her autoharp concerts to inform the world about her affinity with the Odd Prowler, and a few weeks later she warned him of the plane crash via the Internet.

"This so could have been avoided," Said Eddie Busrekz, an internet junkie who works at New York's La Guardia Airport.

The details are sketchy, but it appears that after a textbook landing on runway sixteen at La Guardia, the plane taxied into the tarmac and smashed into a luggage cart, destroying all kinds of luggage, including a fancy banjo for which the owner had not purchased additional insurance.
Later that day, the Odd Prowler's English was flawless as he presented an awestruck group of kids with an awesome presentation, which those little ones will remember for a lifetime.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Psychic Autoharpist Arrested For Trespassing

Psychic autoharpist, Mally Branagain, has been arrested for entering a community television station and commandeering broadcasting equipment. Mally Branagain appeared on countless television screens in La Mirada, California and Needles, California pleading for the airlines to ground Metropolitan Flight 298 from Fort Lauderdale to New York.

"It is going to crash. It is going to crash. Do not go on that plane!" she hollered.

This is the same plane that the Odd Prowler is scheduled to take to New York for his presentation to school children. She sounded serious. Very serious.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Major Newspaper Endorses Odd Prowler's Advancement in English Level

An editorial in the on-line version of the New York Times has thrown the paper's considerable virtual weight behind the movement to promote the Odd Prowler to an intermediate or advanced English as a Second Language class at his school. He was placed for a second time in the beginning level after he refused to answer a nosy question in the placement interview.

As a show of gratitude, the Odd Prowler has given the paper permission to fly him up to New York City, where he will read to school children from his new children's book: Rescue in the Center of the Earth!" In the book, the Odd Prowler relates how he saved Bill Duckton's life in the Center of the Earth. The book was financed by Duckton with his considerable Pluitzer Prize check.

Arnie Notoro, the principal of The Institute for Studies of English, which is where the Odd Prowler is registered, refused to comment after being ridiculed by a Bluegreenplant reporter who called him unfair. "Hey, he flunked. End of story," he said, and then walked out of his office to his Mazda.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Duckton-Dafferty Conflict Washed Away

It looks like the cleanliness of the Odd Prowler has washed away a simmering feud between Blue Green Power Plant colleagues, Bill Dafferty and Bill Duckton. The two excellent journalists were at odds over a scratch in Duckton's blue car which turned out to be grime.

The two were seen eating ice cream, chuckling, and drinking Old Milwaukee Beer in Duckton's corner office. The Florida Marlins were on the flat screen TV, losing three to seven.

It seems as if everything is "chillin" at the Blue Green Power Plant.

Happy days are here again.

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." From The Internet

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Duckton's Car Was Never Scratched

In flawlessly fluent English, the Odd Prowler cleared the air in ten seconds of a malestrom which had been brewing for months.

When a female (and single) Bluegreenplant reporter was passing through the neighborhood where the Odd Prowler is renting a room from Bill Duckton, she stopped when she saw the Odd Prowler washing and waxing Duckton's proverbial blue car. She decided to give him an impromptu English quiz.

"Where are you from?"

"Why don't you ask old autoharpist?"

"How is it going in ESOL One class?"

"Straight A's."

"Aren't you afraid you are going to get a sunburn out here in the hot sun with no shirt?"

"We have sun in Center of Earth. Um..." He paused.

The clever reporter had tricked him and he knew it. He had admitted that he was from the Center of the Earth.

The Odd Prowler hemmed and hawed and then regained his composure and pointed at the clean car. "Look. No scratch!"

It was true. The car was just fine, no scratch at all. The scratch must have been grime.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Psychic Autoharpist Picks up Vibrations from Odd Prowler

The infamously shy autoharpist, Mally Branagain, spoke in public for the first time since her traumatic brush with death in 1974.

Her words were music to the ears of audience members during her Pacoima, California, concert just last week. Mally had previously sworn that she would never again talk "patter" between songs at one of her concerts because a yellow New Mexican scorpion attempted to take her life when she was cracking a joke about music notes before a roadie smashed it.

In Pacoima, she halted herself midway through the old classic "Old Bunch o' Keys," grabbed the microphone and shouted, "I know where he is from! I know where he is from! The Odd Prowler is from the Center of the Earth!"

Just then, a string broke on her autoharp and she was rushed off the stage.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Duckton Settles Out of Court

With a dejected Odd Prowler sustaining an undersized umbrella above him at a press conference in the pouring rain, Pluitzer Prize Winner Bluegreenplant reporter, Bill Duckton, decided to cut his losses and apologize to Bill Dafferty for dragging his name through the mud.

"I am so sorry," he began, "that Bill Dafferty chose to hire this flamboyantly untalented lawyer to threaten me and make my good friend..." He gestured toward the Odd Prowler, who seemed to understand. Then he continued, "He made my friend, someone who saved my life in the Center of the Earth, so nervous that he couldn't pass the ESOL test to the next level."

A concerted gasp was heard from the other reporter in attendance.

"Titstein knows that this guy," He pointed to the Odd Prowler again, "should be in Level Two! Oh, yeah. And I know that Bill Dafferty is an honorable man and I apologize if his lawyer thought I dragged his name through the mudd."

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Odd Prowler Flunks ESOL Placement Test

It was a simple interview, ten questions. The odd prowler had been studying for weeks. Everyone admired how well prepared he was. Confidence guided him to the chair across from the examiner. His mind--sharper than any pencil. The questioning began.

"What is your name?"


"What is your name?"

Awkward silence. The odd prowler's lack of comprehension prompted an osmosis of nervous sweat on his forehead.

"What is your name?" and the interview was over. The quizmaster flatly refused to bend the rules a little bit and move on to the next question.

The odd prowler vocalized a non-lexical speech perturbation.

"This interview is over. He is to be remanded to Level One."

So he must repeat Level One English Class, even though this reporter has heard him banter in English. He refused to answer the very first question, and for that reason we shall continue to call him, the odd prowler.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Dafferty Hires Titstein

Bluegreenplant reporter Bill Dafferty has hired the famous lawyer, Larry Titstein, to represent him in court. He is suing Bill Duckton for scratching his own car and blaming him for it. Said Titstein, "It is an open and shut case. Obviously, that car was scratched by a trophy--a Pluitzer Prize, for example. Bill Dafferty's name has been dragged through the mud enough as it is!"

Duckton was not available for comment, but the Odd Prowler did engage the reporter of this story in some banter in English, and offered tea.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Photo of Odd Prowler

Bluegreenplant has found only remaining photo of the Odd Prowler. It was taken by a Metropolitan Police photographer who wanted "just one more" after the first two standard mugshots.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Man Who Passed Bar Exam is Puzzled By Duckton

"I do not understand why Bill Duckton Will not let me represent him in court to sue Bill Dafferty for damages," uttered Larry Titstein, a very famous lawyer who offered to do the work pro-bono if they didn't win the case. "It is an open and shut case. Dafferty has to pay for the damages and we can pin court costs on him as well."

Duckton, who won the Pluitzer Prize, laconically uttered, "Dafferty is an honorable man. I will not sue," when asked by another Bluegreenplant reporter for his take on Titstein's comments.

Duckton was accompanied by the Odd Prowler, who was studying an English as a Second Language book in a beanbag chair.

Dafferty, whose garage was hiding Bill Duckton's blue and scratched car, is nowhere to be found.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Insurance Company Refuses to Cover Scratch in Duckton's Car

Bill Duckton, Bluegreenplant's Pluitzer Prize winning reporter, got so mad that he dropped his sandwich at the Auto mat and kicked it instead of cleaning it up. "Some guy I don't even know was in front of me in line and he hands me a cell phone and says it is for me." That is how Duckton's tale began. "Then I say hello and a voice says she's from the insurance company and they aren't going to cover my scratch on account of...oh hell; I am still pist off."

The reporter, colleague Tabby Lane, got Duckton a glass of water and after he calmed down he continued.

"She says it was a pre-existing condition. This is a lot of bull!" Duckton cut the interview short in what Ms. Lane described as a "primma-donnish way," and headed out to his scratched car.

The odd prowler cleaned up the sandwich from the floor.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Duckton Vehicle Located in Dafferty Garage

Blue car owner Bill Duckton, who had left the vehicle parked outside of Blue Green Power Plant World Headquarters while he was away on his journey to the Center Of the Earth, has reported that he received an anonymous call about the whereabouts of his missing car.

The anonymous caller led Duckton, along with a contingent of local police, and the Odd Prowler tagging along, to a garage in the "Spoonbill's Landing" condominiums, where Duckton identified his car. "That's my car. But what the...Where did this scratch come from?" he announced. The parking space was registered to Blue Green Power Plant colleague, Bill Dafferty.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Towelamp Sitting on Bailout Money

Duncan D, amateur rap and graffiti artist, has posted on his Myspace page, a photo of William Towelamp sitting atop a huge pile of money and laughing harshly. Duncan wrote, in his street-cred dialect: "De dawggg gotz t' mezza pong dalla fo dat e-kon-oh mee." Duncan, a native of Cardiff-by-the Sea, California, lives with his parents, an investment banker and a homemaker, who are having a rough time since the economy has hit the skids.

Towelamp has responded to the embarassing criticism with his own, laconic, one-line post: "I am going to soak a wad of money in water, freeze it solid, and then nail that sonofabitch's forehead when he goes up to accept his Grammy award, cause all the shittiest ones win a grammy!" He posted as a response to the Myspace posting, which has since disappeared from cyberspace.

In other news, nobody seems able to figure out who the odd prowler is and Bill Duckton is still taking taxis.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Odd Prowler Doesn't Appeal to Lawyers

The Odd Prowler left the emergency room at Metropolitan Hospital Two with his arm in a sling, but no lawyers approached him to encourage him to sue the jail for the fiasco and stampede where he was injured.

When asked if he was planning to sue, the Odd Prowler spouted off a bunch of gibberish and then was rushed off into a taxi by an obviously flustered Bill Duckton. Rain began to fall in droplets as the bold reporter jammed the microphone through the up-going window like an ice cream cone offered to a diabetic kid with just enough time for one question. The brave and good-looking reporter asked, "Congratulations on your Pluitzer Prize. And what exactly is going on here, Mr. Duckton?"

Duckton rubbed his unshaven chin and shouted unnecessarily loudly into the mic, "My car was stolen while I was in the Center of the Earth and now I have to take this taxi."

When it rains it pours.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Fiasco At Duckton Web Interview!!!

Murphy's Law prevailed at the Bill Duckton World Wide Web Interview, A Chat With the Superficials, in what can only be referred to as a total fiasco!!!

First of all, The Blue Green Power Plant forgot to publicize the day and time of the interview so the general public was unable to join in with their tons of interesting questions. (Disclaimer: You are reading the Blue Green Power Plant right now.)

Then, when Duckton was just about to dramatically introduce the Odd Prowler, he gestured to a hole in the ground at the County Jail and a rabbit popped out of it.

"It was utter chaos. Everyone focused on the rabbit and the Odd Prowler got stepped on by a camera crew. Then someone noticed that the rabbit had a human foot and any remaining semblance of order was lost. I got scared," commented Malachi Plopkin, an out of work rabbi who was situated in a nearby cell due to a trumped-up pickpocketing charge.

The rabbit panicked and disappeared down the hole again.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Bill Duckton Calls Press Conference At County Jail

Bluegreenplant's Pluitzer Prize winner reporter, Bill Duckton, has called a press conference where he promises to answer every question that reporters have about his successful journey to the the Center of the Earth and back. He announced that he will be live online for a "chat with the superficials" in real time to answer any question from any journalist or regular person. His live web-chat-conference will be on The Blue Green Power Plant's Radio Internet Chatchannel at a time to be announced.

"First we will verify the President's schedule and then we will work around it to choose the best time for Mister Duckton's conference and chat session. We do not want him to upstage the president again," said Milo Ottenger, a spokesperson for Bill Duckton.

As Ottenger exited the room, a reporter for National Geographic shouted out rudely, "Why is he webcasting from the county jail???!!!" The spokesman for Duckton coyly monotoned in a deliberate way, "Wait til you hear where the odd prowler is from. It will knock your socks off."

Thursday, January 22, 2009


Bill Duckton has appeared on the surface of the Earth and with a good suntan to boot!!! People are breathing a worldwide sigh of relief to know that the hero is well.

"I am afraid that this Bill Duckton story is really going to upstage Obama," said Bill Dafferty, the writer of this article and co-worker of Bill Duckton. "I have an affinity for people named Bill, especially Bill Duckton. He is a hero," chimed Dafferty, who has shown a propensity to quote himself.

Duckton made his appearance at County jail, where he signed his John Hancock on a release form to bail out the odd prowler who was arrested outside of The Blue Green Power Plant headquarters over a week ago. Said the clerk at the jail, "I saw that signature and knew it was the famous guy who went to the center of the Earth. Heck, everyone reads that blog. I was gonna tell him that the odd prowler escaped, but when Mister Duckton went to the cell, there he was again."

When asked for a comment, Duckton just smiled in a Christlike way and walked out of the parking lot with the odd prowler tagging along.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Odd Prowler Makes Slick Escape from Jail Cell

The odd prowler who had been detained for loitering around outside of Bluegreenplant Headquarters while everyone was looking out the window waiting for Bill Duckton, ace reporter, who never arrived and therefore underscored everyone's disappointment, escaped from his jail cell.

"There was a hole. He went down a hole," said Manny Guppytrawler of the county jail.

Mr. Guppytrawler would have said more, but an alarm went off and he hung up on our Blue Green Power Plant reporter and therefore curtailed her information gathering endeavors.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Police Stumped By Identity of Odd Prowler

Police in unincorporated Miami-Dade County, Florida are turning to the general public for assistance in identifying the odd prowler that they arrested outside of Bluegreenplant Headquarters, located at the address of the former Burger King University in Miami, Florida.

"We have no idea who he is or where he is from. Plus, he don't help worth nothing cause he don't speak English," stated Officer Hoover Garcia of the Metro Dade Police.

He is between five and six feet tall, with dark hair and a small nose. If anyone can identify anyone with that description, call 911 to contact the police.

According to officer Garcia, no mental patients have been reported escaped from any local mental facilities.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Towelamp Gets Bailout Money

William Towelamp's bad investments have been bought up by the people of the United States of America, thanks to an emergency order signed by the President. "If I didn't sign it, the new president would have, so I am saving the new guy some work. This will help the economy and the economy will help the little guys out there who need to buy stuff. I'm doing this for the little guy," stated the president in a back room in the White House when asked by a Bluegreenplant reporter--the only reporter at this press conference.