Monday, November 24, 2008

Angela Ramos Files Report that Makes Duckton Look Bad

Bluegreenplant reporter Angela Ramos has filed a hard hitting report from the Center of the Earth and has taken a lot of guff from fans and admirers of Bill Duckton. Some of the fans claim that the report, an interview with a Center of Earth "local," paints the Pluitzer Prize nominee as "shady or scary."

Angela responds to these critics by saying, "I don't make the news. I just report it as I see it and it is up to the people to judge. What's more, I think I didn't make Duckton look as bad as he really is."

On another note from the Earth's crust, Bill Duckton's car has been missing from its parking space at Bluegreenplant Headquarters for over a month. Colleague Bill Dafferty suggests that it may be stolen.

Below is a link to Angela's report.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Gorilla Scares Towelamp at Four A.M.

It seemed as if things could not get any worse for ex-billionaire, William Towelamp, and then they got worse when an enormous gorilla snuck up on him as he was catching 40 winks at his outpost at the hole that leads to the center of the Earth in Mulch Park, Nebraska.

Security cameras were rolling as the horrific silverback, three times the size of a man, fuzzily jumped out from the shadows, testing the quality of old Towelamp's pacemaker. Towelamp bravely stood his ground before running away.

Don't expect to see that video any time soon. Towelamp's agents quickly bought up and destroyed all copies of that security video before anyone could see it.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Billionaire William Towelamp is Now Only A Multi-millionaire

"Due to the flux in the stock-crash market, William Towelamp is now worth about half to a third of what he was worth a couple of months ago, when he began his vigil at the hole that leads to the center of the Earth," stated a noted economist on a syndicated gossip show recently.

Horace D. Ernest of Harvard Community College told Amy Platter of the show "Access the Hollywood Isider" that the Towelamp fortune has been "melting away like a giant ice cube in the sun and if stocks continue to go down, he may end up being homeless again." (Italics: ours.)

The Blue Green Power Plant tried to confirm the story, but the bank refused to confirm or deny any of the allegations, citing banker-client privilege. (Italics: theirs.)

Friday, November 07, 2008

Duckton Video Transmitted

This may be the story of the century. The Bill Duckton interview video has been transmitted from the Center of the Earth. Although this video was intercepted and played on CNN, let it be known that Bill Duckton sent it directly to the Blue Green Power Plant.

Bill is a truly spirited explorer and hero in the true sense of the word. We are proud of him. Please view the video. We know you will share our pride. By the way, it looks like they are treating him well. He has put on a couple of pounds!

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Transmission Received from Angela Ramos

Totally lost Bluegreenplant reporter, Angela Ramos is still somewhere in the center of the Earth. After she refused help from colleague Bill Duckton, Duckton headed off to do a television interview in The Center of the Earth, and Angela lagged behind until she was "found and lost."

The good news is that she has plenty of food and water. "Duckton left his backpack. He was so absent minded. All he was doing was talking about how he was going to win the Pluitzer Prize and be the first human interviewed in the Center of the Earth. I would rather be lost than listen to that day in and day out while hiking to the surface."

In a very weak rescue effort, billionaire William Towelamp has promised to yell down the hole that leads to the Center of the Earth and act as a "vocal beacon."