Friday, October 31, 2008

Towelamp Refuses to Abandon Vigil

William Towelamp, the curmudgeon who is waiting at the hole that leads to the Center of the Earth so that he can kick Mayor Hecot Smithly's ass, refuses to abandon his vigil even though Smithly exited the center of the Earth and went dancing in Cuba and promptly returned to Mulch Park, Nebraska after saving his doctor, Reginald Gamma, who saved him a year before when he was absorbed into a towel, and Gamma's mother, who had been captured by Homeland Security Forces and cooped up at Guantanamo detention center. "Hell," said Towelamp, "I have enough money to have a lunch truck here twenty-four seven."

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Murmurings Assert Assertions About Phantom Video

A blogger from a rival blog has asserted the assertion that Bill Duckton's interview on television in the Center of the Earth was all a hoax and a sham and never took place at all.

Well, maybe that is the reason why they are number two. They need to check their facts.

At The Blue Green Power Plant, we make srue that everything we print has been checked and double checked. Then after that, we CHECK IT AGAIN.

We are sorry that Bill Duckton's transmission has not been received in such a long time. We want you readers to know, we believe in Bill Duckton and if he said he was going to be on TV, believe him. His name is credibility.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Video of Duckton Interview Squelched!!!


Thousand of worldwide fans are extremely upset and disappointed now that over a week has passed and the interview with Bill Duckton in the Center of the Earth has not been released.

"I think the interview has been squelched because he got them with too many zingers. I think the people from the Earth's core felt lost once Duckton's mind got going with his verbiage and journalistic momentum. Their government is protecting them so that they won't feel inferior," said Duckton colleague Bill Dafferty.

Others had different opinions. "I don't think it is being squelched. I just think it takes time to transmit a video from the center of the Earth to the surface," opined Tabby Lane, another newsroom professional.

Whether it is a case of squelching or primitive technology, one thing is certain. Disappointment is so thick that hangs around the globe in a way which may block off the hole in the ozone layer.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Duckton Interviewed In Center of Earth

Bluegreenplant ace reporter and Center of the Earth celebrity Bill Duckton has completed an interview in a television studio in the Center of the Earth. Said Duckton, "It went great. The hostesses, the audience, they loved me. I feel it was a great interview. I am like an ambassador with our two cultures coming together through me."

Although Duckton had previously promised to transmit a video of the historic interview to us on the surface, he did not send a copy. When asked why he did not send a copy, he stated, "Their technology is full of gaffes and errors. It is very crude when compared to our technological technology and such."

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

A Pissed-off Bill Duckton Promises Zingers

Bill Duckton has pissed-offly abandoned his efforts to rescue hopelessly lost colleague Angela Ramos and promises his admirers that he will soon tape his interview on Center of the Earth Television. "I will have a lot of zingers in that interview, let me tell you. I promise to put it on Youtube, Bluegreenplant, everything. Also, please move my car. It has been sitting in the Blue Green Power Plant parking lot for a long time. The keys are in the ignition, I think."

Bill Dafferty has volunteered to take Duckton's car for a spin and a run through the carwash. "It is the least I can do for that hero," he gushed.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Angela Ramos Punches Bill Duckton

Shouting that she was doing fine and didn't need any help, Angela Ramos, the hopelessly lost Bluegreenplant reporter, shoved a clenched fist into the muzzle of Bill Duckton when he showed up in the route to the Center of the Earth to rescue her.

"Ouch," he stammered.
"I don't need your help, Duckton!!!" she exclaimed.

After the transmission was heard at Bluegreenplant Headquarters, employees celebrated their safety by eating candy bars and taking turns telling their favorite stories of their hero, Bill Duckton.