Sunday, March 30, 2008

Announcing Another Blue Green Power Plant Exclusive

Once again--at the right place at the right time-- a Bluegreenplant reporter has gotten an exclusive which may just be the scoop of the century. The mayor of Mulch Park, Hecot Smithly, has invited a Bluegreenplant reporter to accompany him on his journey to the center of the Earth, set to take place as soon as the giant ladder is fully in place.

A volunteer box has been placed outside the lavatories at Bluegreenplant Headquarters and reporters will enter their names. After three days, the winner will be chosen raffle style.

"This will be a tremendous opportunity for some great journalism. I wouldn't be surprised if the reporter who wins this coverage wins a national news prize as well," stated Milo Ottenger, a spokesman for The Blue Green Power Plant who was standing next to the place where the volunteer box will be placed.

Mayor Smithly has rejected bids from CNN, Fox News, and the three major networks because they are, he says, Johnny come latelys.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Mayor Smithly Reaches Center of Earth

A roving poet overheard Renaissance Mayor Hecot Smithly of Mulch Park, Nebraska in a coffee shop bragging to a young waitress that he had reached the center of the Eath with his giant drill. The poet immediately wrote down the information and passed it on to a Bluegreen Plant reporter who was playing miniature golf across the street. The report went like this:

Nothing on Verne
Malakov drillbit 5-4-3-2-One,
Blasting off and almost done,
Chopping end of rainbow pots all day,
Our beloved mayor gives away,
Now Mulch Park is very rich and expansive
which is good cause the coffee is god-damned expensive!
A waitress winks, he spills the beans
Lets the cat out of the bag
Leans back in the booth predicted scenes
He's sat since birth with this tag:
To the center of the Earth!!!

Tory Brandigan

Monday, March 17, 2008

Once Majestic Tiger Taken to the Cleaners

The cadaver of Philatilis, the former majestic tiger at the Soapington Zoo in Soapington, England, has been shipped to a tiger cleaning service in Westerdfordshire. The owner of the service told a Bluegreenplant reporter, "They are going to stuff him and set him up somewhere with a plaque which tells the story of the goat who did him in just by defending himself. That's what I think."

Meanwhile, school children have submitted the name "Hero Boy" as a suggestion for the no-name goat at the zoo, who is more popular than ever.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Renaissance Mayor Hecot Smithly's Popularity Skyrockets

Renaissance Mayor Hecot Smithly has rewarded persistent reporters and onlookers at his giant drilling project by giving everyone in the city of Mulch Park a pot of gold. The gold was apparently accidently mined while drilling on the condemned Towelamp Estate.

A spokesman for Mayor Smithly put it this way: "We are not interested in gold. We plan to go much further than that! Keep it."

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Tiger Slaying Goat is Number One Attraction

The no-name goat which, in a fit of self-defense, slayed Philatilis, the most expensive tiger in the Soapington Zoo, is now a number one attraction at the Zoo. "He's our prime attraction," stated Rod Wellington, the zoo's animal-media relations expert. "That little bloke is bringing in more money than that bloody tiger ever did. Long live the goat!!!"

As the goat basks in the sun, Philatilis's cadaver is now on ice while the Soapington Zoo Board of Directors decides what to do with the defeated former attraction.

Monday, March 03, 2008

City of Mulch Park Drilling on Condemned Towelamp Estate

The city of Mulch Park, Nebraska has set up a giant drill in the spot of the lot which used to be occupied by the fancy vacation home of William Towelamp. When asked about the drill a technician looked from side to side and then whispered to a Bluegreenplant reporter, "This is a Malakov IV, a super-sized version of the Malakov III." The technician then nodded and edged away secretly.

After deep investigation into recently opened Soviet files, Bluegreenplant verified that the Malakov IV is the most powerful drill in the world. Its brochure claims that it is capable of reaching the center of the earth.