Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Bluegreenplant Reporter Transmits from Rabbit Hole

Bill Duckton, one of The Bluegreen Power Plant's only reporters who has never won any sort of award, and who was demoted recently, may finally win recognition for crackerjack reporting, ironically for being stupid!

Duckton foolishly walked into an area where a rabbit hole was sucking. In his last report he announced that he had been "absorbed into the hole." No picture accompanied the audio that was transmitted, in spite of the fact that a fully equipped camera crew accompanied Duckton.

One witness verified the story. "I took one swig of my juice that I got here, then I lowered the bottle and that reporter was gone!" said a homeless man who lived near the hospital ruins before they disappeared.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Hospital Debris Sucked down Rabbit Hole

All of the debris from the demolished Metropolitan Hospital has disappeared. Officials can not account for any of it. A homeless veteran, who was sleeping near the site of the demolition, told a Blue Green Power Plant news reporter that, "it all was absorbed into the earth, sucked down that rabbit hole." He sketched a crude map in the ground, showing the way for the reporter to get to the rabbit hole. "I am not going near that hole after what I seen," he said nervously.

Our Bluegreenplant reporter will file a follow-up report as soon as he returns from his investigation of the rabbit hole.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Geraldo Rivera Blows Rescue Plan

Rivera at Varadero Beach, Mapping Plan Next to one of Cuba's Vendors
An intricate rescue plan, formulated by the brilliant mind of Dr. Reginald Gamma in order to rescue his mother, has been scrapped after a reporter revealed details of the plan on his cable TV show in an effort to reverse his plummeting ratings

Geraldo Rivera actually dressed up like a doctor after drawing a diagram of the plan in the sand at Varadero Beach and before "saving" a manniquin which represented Emma Gamma, the prisoner held unjustly by US forces in Guantanamo Bay Detention Center.

"The plan was perfect," said Manny Javier Mojica, a former member of Cuba's elite Brigada Libertad (Liberty Brigade), "We were going in there with the cover of mercenaries from Blackwater. We were going to extract her and paint a few slogans and that's it."

Captain Manny Javier Mojica was interviewed on a dock in Key West, Florida, where he had been dropped of by smugglers. He wanted to get the record straight with reporters before interviewing with INS/homeland security and becomming a US citizen. "We were going to save a nice old lady and then get the hell out. But that stupid Geraldo Rivera screwed everything up to hell."

Captain Mojica also mentioned that the Cuban Military is now at Gamma's "beck and call" since Dr. Gamma saved the life of Fidel Castro, Communist Cuba's infamous leader.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Reginald Gamma Photographed Dancing with Commies

Screen shot from Cuban Government Website
Digital photographs posted on the Cuban government's official website definitely show Reginald Gamma "dancing with a worker from the Cuban Communist Party," Cuban exiles in Miami asserted. "What's more he is wearing a stethoscope and dancing a tango while all the other dancers are doing salsa moves," another exile asserted. "To go from prison to the dance floor in the government palace in a matter of months, that is incredible. Usually it is the other way around," stated an old timer whose domino game was interrupted by a reporter in Little Havana.

Reginald Gamma, the doctor who was hailed as a hero for saving Hecot Smithly from being trapped in a towel in the USA, was captured in Cuba while trying to rescue his mother who is, ironically, being held by US forces in Guantanamo Bay Detention Center in the United States Naval Base in Cuba.