Thursday, October 26, 2006
Dr. Reginald Gamma, the hero miracle doctor who just recovered from anmesia, was spotted at the boat show shopping for ultra fast boats. This ironic twist--a doctor buying a cigarette--wasn't lost on the Bluegreenplant reporter covering the varied events of the show. This cigarette, however, was a cigarette boat, a kind of speedboat used by smugglers to smuggle people out of Cuba.
Could it be that doctor Gamma is making plans to rescue his mother, who is presently being held by the US government as an enemy combatant in the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba? When Bluegreenplant asked him about this possibility, he blew smoke in the face of our reporter and pushed him out of his way.
Friday, October 20, 2006
A supreme court Judge from the state of Indiana was overheard in a Starbucks making a cell phone call to warn Dr. Reginald Gamma that he mustn't break the terms of his bail or he will risk losing his conditional freedom. Dr. Gamma, who just recently recovered from anmesia, was unaware that the attorney general has charges against him for shooting Hecot Smithly, one of his former patients.
Conditions of his bail were reiterated to him: no guns, stay in the country, and stay the Hell away from Mr. Smithly. The judge was drinking a coffee drink with whipped cream and sprinkles.
At the close of the conversation the judge inadvertantly told Gamma about his mother's incarceration, "Sorry to hear about your mom being held at Guantanamo. She was a nice lady," he said. At that point he began to fiddle with his phone as if it had gone dead.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Dr. Gamma said that the first thing he wanted to do now that he had his full identity was to call his mother in the Maldive Islands. Bluegreenplant did not have the heart to tell him that his mother is presently being held as an enemy combatant in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Smithly: I saw two cats and two dogs and a shrew.
Tabby: A shrew? Do you mean a ferret?
Smithly: Yes. It was a ferret. How did you know?
Tabby: The absorbtion incident happened at a house where someone shot two dogs, two cats, and a ferret into outer space in a rocket in 1963. How did you feel inside of this towel?
Smithly: Weightless euphoria. It was like there was an absence of gravity. And it was cold. At first a chilly cold draft blew around me. Then, it was still, like outer space, until...
Tabby: Until what?
Smithly: That damn fire. It scared the hell out of me. Suddenly my peacefulness was interrupted by that smoke and fire.
Tabby: The fire was when someone at the lab used your towel to try to put out a kitchen fire. That was when your fiancee saved you. She grabbed the towel away from the panicky guy who was trying to put out the fire.
Smithly: Wow. Well it got really hot for a while.
Tabby: Ha ha. I bet
Smithly: Then that was when the animals attacked me. We have to get together and I will show you my scar. That is where the shrew bit me.
Smithly: Thank you. I tell you. It was high anxiety after that. I was fending them off by trying make animal sounds, but since it was in outer space, I couldn't hear them and they couldn't hear me.
Tabby: Well I see our time is up.
Smithly: I can talk more.
Tabby: I have to go.
Tabby: I have to go...on assignment.
Smithly: How come no body told me about my house being haunted?
Tabby: Thank you.
Smithly: You're welcome.
Tabby: Good bye.
At this point Tabby Lane hung up the phone and then relaxed with a cup of instant coffee in her corner office.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Emma Gamma, the mother of Dr. Reginald Gamma, the hero doctor who has amnesia and saved Hecot Smithly from being trapped in a towel, has broken down and confessed to being a terrorist and spy after undergoing interrogation with US intelligence agents in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
This top secret information came to light in a recent press conference when President Bush mentioned her name to reporters. He cited her confession as an example of the continuing success of the interrogation program to keep America free.
Tabby: How did you get absorbed into the towel in the first place?
H.S.: How does anyone get absorbed into a towel? I had just taken a bath after swimming in the lake near my house.
Tabby: Did it hurt to be absorbed into a towel?
H.S.: No. Actually it was rather pleasant. The bad part was after the absorbtion.
Tabby: What happened?
H.S.: I don't know how much time passed. It was as if I were a tooth and I had been shot full of novacaine. Then I sensed that there was no gravity. And I felt five pairs of eyes watching me. It was a ghostly presence.
Tabby: A ghostly presence?
H.S.: Yes, and a terrible draft of chilly cold air.
Tabby: Chilly cold air?
H.S.: Yes. Remember I had just taken a bath and I was naked.
Tabby: How much do you weigh?
H.S.: About 160 pounds.
Tabby: How tall are you?
H.S.: I am six feet one.
Tabby: Do you lift weights?
H.S.: Well sometimes. I try to stay in shape.
Tabby: Are you married?
H.S.: Actually I am recently divorced.
Tabby: Do you....
At this point, a bird landed on the telephone line between Hecot Smithly's house and the phone transformer leading to the communications grid that eventually reaches Bluegreenplant headquarters. Transmission became impossible to understand and it was decided to curtail the interview and continue after the bird had flown away.