Thursday, June 29, 2006

Mother of Doctor Reginald Gamma Detained

The mother of Doctor Reginald Gamma, the amnesiatic Maldivian doctor who was first a hero and then an accused attempted murderer, has been trying for weeks to raise enough money to finance a ticket to fly to the USA to visit her son. Now that she has made it to US soil, she has been detained by US immigration officials at Bangor, Maine's airport. Said a US official, "She has no ID. We can't let her into the country."

Mrs. Gamma stated repeatedly, "I showed the official my passport, my driver's license, and even my library card. I am really steamed. This boils my blood."

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Blue Green Power Plant Admits Mistake

The Blue Green Power Plant strives to bring you 100% accurate news. We check and double check our facts until they come out the way we like them. Unfortunately, even winners of the Pulitzer Prize make mistakes. Bluegreenplant has a policy of correcting any mistake which may come out in our zeal to bring you the truth about what is happening in the world.

In a previous story, we identified William Towelamp as a Canadian citizen. In actuality, he is a citizen of the United States, who keeps the majority of his primary residences in Canada. We sincerely apologize for any confusion that this error may have caused.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Bail Posted for Dr.Reginald Gamma

Dr. Reginald Gamma, the doctor who is currently charged with the attempted murder of Hecot Smithly, a former patient, was released on bail today at 2:00 in the afternoon, on a sunny day.

Bail was posted anonymously, but some digging by a Blue Green Power Plant reporter has revealed that the 26,000 dollars was paid by William Towelamp, the Canadian internet Millionaire who is known to be an avid reader of this blog.

When asked for comment, Reginald Gamma pushed our reporter and got in a taxi.

Hecot Smithly Released From Hospital

Indiana Hospital released the man who was absorbed by a towel months ago after doctors proclaimed him, "Out of the woods," in his recovery from a gunshot wound that he suffered when his previous doctor, Doctor Reginald Gamma of the Maldive Islands Medical Institute and Earth's Core Studies University, a victim of amnesia, shot him.

It was a sunny day and a phalanx of reporters and well-wishers swarmed him as he left the hospital. Suddenly, his wheelchair was surrounded and his attendant, Maggie Price, was unable to manuver him out of the situation. Bluegreenplant seized the opportunity to get a partial interview, and a promise of an exclusive interview in the future.

BGP: How are you Mr. Smithly?
Smithly: Oh I am fine.
BGP: Why are you in a wheelchair? Did that gunshot leave you without feeling in your legs?
Smithly: No, the hospital insisted I leave in a wheelchair because of insurance concerns.
BGP: Why did your doctor shoot you?
Smithly: I don't know. He isn't my doctor. The doctors at this hospital are fantastic, except the doctor who shot me.
BGP: Dr. Gamma unabsorbed you from a towel.
Smithly: Ok. He is a good doctor too, but he is also a jerk with a gun.
BGP: You know that he has amnesia.
Smithly: Oh, that explains everything. I kept trying to hug him. I just wanted to express my gratitude. He saved me from a terrible experience.
BGP: What was it like inside that towel? Ouch!

At this point, Maggie Price stomped on our reporter's foot and muscled her way with the wheelchair through the crowd.

Smithly: I'll tell you later, man.

The Blue Green Power Plant promises to keep you informed about this story.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Turnberry University Buys Genetic Material

Sinew, fur and meat, priceless

Turnberry University has negociated a price to purchase the remaining bits of flesh from the rabbit that grew a human foot. The spokesman for the University, Professor Milo Ottenger, has claimed that the university plans to clone the rabbit and subject it to a lifetime of studies.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Turnberry University Purchases MMIECSU

Turnberry University, of Queensland, Australia, has purchased the Maldive Medical Institute and Earth's Core Studies University in the Maldive Islands. A turnberry spokesman stated, "Don't tell us about the water intrusion problems. We know about them. We still think that we got a good deal."

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Bluegreen Power Plant Duped by an Imposter

Indiana Hospital spokesperson Liberty Beverly Jackson has requested that The Blue Green Power Plant acknowledge that the person quoted in the previous article, Dr. Milo Ottenger, is not and never has been a spokesman for the hospital. He was a man from the street who saw the cameras and microphones and decided to pretend to speak for the hospital.

Regardless, Bluegreenplant stands behind its facts in the story. Dr.Gamma did shoot Mr. Smithly when Smithly tried to hug him.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Reginald Gamma Shoots Hecot Smithly

Dr. Reginald Gamma, the miracle doctor from the Maldive Islands who saved Hecot Smithly in a brilliant extraction procedure is now in police custody for the shooting of the same patient that he had saved.

A spokesman for the hospital, Dr. Milo Ottenger, stated that it was probably Gamma's recent bout with amnesia, combined with delusions about Smithly stalking him, that made him shoot Hecot Smithly.

Hecot Smithly is in guarded condition, but he did make one short statement to the press, "I just wanted to give him a hug. I wanted to express my gratitude. And he shoots me!"

When asked about Smithly's condition, Dr. Ottenger stated that Smithly was, "Not out of the woods yet."

Rabbit Grows Human Foot

A rabbit in a breeding pen near Christchurch, New Zeland was described to have an "ironic abnormality" by the farmer who discovered it. The animal was less than a month old, but it clearly had developed differently than all the other rabbits in the litter. The farmer, Kerry McPhearson, mentioned that for the past few weeks she had been monitoring the growth of the "poor little guy" and that its left foot, with each day, "took on more and more the semblance of a human foot."

"It is ironic and tragic at the same time," said McPhearson, "These here rabbits in this section were being raised for good luck rabbits' feet, you know to put on keychains and such. I suppose that the mother rabbit noticed that human foot growing there the same way I did, and that is why she killed the poor little guy."

Saturday, June 03, 2006

New Logo A Hit!

The Bluegreen Power Plant has received countless accolades about its new logo. More and more internet users are logging on to the Bluegreen Power Plant, now that it has an inviting face.