Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Editorial: Is Todd Howard Jefferton's Mom in Love with a Robot?

An Editorial by Tabby Lane, Blue Green Power Plant staff

A constant drivel of gossip is being released by sub-par news services such as The Gossip Sheet. We at Bluegreenplant feel a sense of obligation to set the record straight. Rumors that Ms Jefferton has fallen in love with Hubert the police robot are just that, rumors. Lookie-loos and litterbugs have been loitering in front of the family home trying to catch a glimpse of the highly publicized couple. It's disruptive. It's intrusive. Seven people have been arrested already this week for trying to take selfies with Hubert the Police Robot. The charge has always been the same one: interrupting the forward motion of a police robot. When will some people learn their lesson and stay five feet away, as instructed?

Citizens and machines should be allowed their privacy. What they do with their lives (when off the clock) is their own business. The owners, Phillip and Sandra Bunkmun of the Gossip Sheet should be ashamed of themselves for upending the lives of good solid citizens and public servants with unverified tales and ignorant conjecture.

The truth of the matter is that, according to neighbors, Hubert the Police Robot has been visiting on a nightly basis. It is a known fact that he does not need to rest up after his shift and only needs four hours per night to re-charge. He has been dedicating his time to keeping little Todd Howard Jefferton out of trouble and counseling his mother on reasons why she should not hit her child with a shoe when she becomes frustrated with him. What's more, a UPS man who visited the house said that the family is more communicative, calmer, and answers the door much faster now that Hubert has become a part of their lives.

Also, it looks as if someone has been eating sunflower seeds on the back porch.

So let's all take a breather and give this family some breathing room.

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