Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Three Experts Argue Preadolescent Psychology

At a recent panel discussion at the World Psychological Conference in Brussels, three expert child psychologists seemed unable to come to a consensus to explain the odd and destructive behavior of little Todd Howard Jefferton, the kid who tried to burn down Chacon Middle School.

Mortin Irkman, a writer and experimenter from UCLA, insisted that the child was experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. "Wouldn't you be mad and strike out at the world if it threw three tear gas canisters in your lap? We have to send the boy to a place where he can do activities, such as crafts and sports games with veterans--others who have a chip on their shoulder. They can talk it out.

Li Feng Kuang, from the China Socialist-Capitalist Institute  said,  "It seems to me that he thinks he is the real Billy Plimberton and now is acting out his terrorist impulses. For so much time he was wearing that Plimberton costume. A part of him thinks he is the leader of Naptimez Ova!. We have to counter-brainwash him and reeducate him slowly back to his original self.

Salama De Los Rios PhD, from the University of Malanga, Spain offered another take on the psychological condition of the boy.  "Lo que nosotros estamos averiguando es la posibilidad de que el paciente siempre llevaba estos impulsos en su subconciencia." This was translated by her assistant as, "It looks like the kid was a jerk before all this and is still an asshole."

Little Todd Howard Jefferton still has several days of after-school detentions to serve.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I hate to say this, but that boy is a danger to society.
Millicent Dingle
Rover Island