Monday, October 29, 2018

Barwell Crashes Press Conference

Agent Giles Gullard required no introduction as he approached a gaggle of news microphones with an air of officiality. He started with a general statement in reference to the recent apprehension of Billy Plimberton and Naptimez Ova!. "They turned themselves in and after hours of questioning, they insist they didn't do it. What's more, the only proof against them is the report of the graphologist, and we can't seem to track him down."

The press just stood for a while in an odd silence, totally awed.

"Any questions?" asked Gullard.

A particularly aggressive reporter, a man with a beard and a beret, pushed his way to the front of the press corps. He spoke with a French accent. "Agent Gullard! That video of Clift Barwell was so obviously fake, wasn't it?"

"Do you have a question about the case, sir?"

"It was totally fake. But isn't it true that we have real video tape of Plimberton confessing not only to the mortar attack, but also to stealing that painting, Ventriloquist and his Dummy which was taken from the Huntington?"

"Actually, no. That was the minor who was kidnapped, Todd Howard Jefferton; he confessed to those crimes. What's more, we don't think he did it." Gullard closed his notebook, clicked his pen, and tucked it in his pocket.

Another reporter tried to ask a question, but the Frenchman put his hand over her mouth and shouted more of his own questions, "But he signed the spray-painted threats with the initials BP in blood-red paint! Obviously that means Billy Plimberton! He is obviously guilty! Ouch!"

The other reporter would not be silenced. She stomped his foot with a six inch heel stiletto heel, sending him hopping in circles. "Get your grubby paws off me you..." she said.
"Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!" Just then the beard fell to the floor.

"Clift Barwell!?" The woman reached up and pulled off the Beret. It was him.

Clift Barwell had taken on a new role and it had not gone well. As Agent Gullard pretended to take a call on his cell phone and wandered away, the other reporters turned on Barwell, telling him he had ruined the press conference.

Barwell, realizing that the shock of getting caught had dropped him out of character, rapidly exited the venue.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am from Montreal and that was the fakest French accent I heard in my life. I saw the press conference on TV live. What a fiasco!

Pierre Labatt
Montreal, Canada