Thursday, May 31, 2018

Judge Upgrades Charges Against Estelita

An audible gasp was heard across all of the internet when famed psychic, Estelita, once again posted on all her social media accounts without access to a computer. "She has been locked up in a cell all by herself the whole time," said bailiff, Ronnie Hines, who wished to remain anonymous. "The prisoner hasn't touched a computer; this gives me the creeps cause now she is getting mad and she is summoning forth all this energy!"

Estelita's brow knitted, her lips pursed, and her face remained in that expression as she left the courtroom yesterday when Dade County Judge Plankton G. Smith upgraded the charges against her from helping a criminal organization-- to helping a terrorist organization to perpetrate violence.

The social media posts that mysteriously appeared seemed to be trolling Judge Plankton G. Smith, who recently bought a mansion at the beach. The post read, You had better sell that shitty property or plan on stocking it with fish. All will be ten feet under water soon!

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Mulch Park Takes Leadership Role

The city council of Mulch Park, Nebraska has declared Naptimez Ova! to be a terrorist organization--thereby opening doors to interstate cooperation in the manhunt for Billy Plimberton and his twelve followers.

The reactions of the residents of Mulch Park are mixed, to say the least.

"I think it is horrible," stated Mabel Gibbs, owner of the Natural Thunder Cafe. "They were such nice boys until they suffered the trauma of being abandoned by their father, Clift Barwell. It is all Barwell's fault; that selfish bastard."

Others disagreed. "Barwell did the best he could. When he left the kids he did so to get a substantial upgrade in his career. It was a no-brainer. He had to do it. The kids didn't have to become a terrorist gang. Barwell is innocent," stated Chuck Gibbs, also owner of the Natural Thunder Cafe.

At the current time, the whereabouts, or life-signs of Barwell are nowhere to be found. Naptimez Ova! has been laying low as well.

Monday, May 28, 2018

Psychic Estelita Charged and Locked up

The story was broken on the Prayers and Comments segment of Country Judge starring Judge Marcus Cludderman. The folksy judge became as serious as a dead man when he looked into the camera and reported that Miami psychic, Estelita, has been charged with helping a criminal organization to perpetrate violence. The story quickly spread to other news outlets.

Estelita, it is reported, used her powers to help the Naptimez Ova! youth gang to locate reality star dad, Clift Barwell. She aided and abetted even though it has been widely reported that the youth gang is up to no good. It is not known where Naptimez Ova! and its charismatic leader, Billy Plimberton, could be. Neither is it known where their victim, Clift Barwell, is--or whether he is still alive or not.

According to a Miami Police Department representative, "We may not know where the thugs or the victim are, but at least we have one person in custody--Estelita." The officer took a sip from a plastic thimble of Cuban coffee and continued talking. "The first question I would ask her is whether he's dead or not. It's pointless if he is dead. Of course I am not asking the questions around here, though I should be..."

So far, Estelita has not said a word.

Judge Cludderman has stated that he would be happy to try the case on his show in order to assure that Estelita gets a fair trial.

Saturday, May 26, 2018

Psychic Posts on Blog Without Access to a Computer

Even though South Florida psychic, Estelita, was in custody of investigators who had confiscated her cell phone, she managed to post a cryptic message on social media which is giving people the creeps.

The chilling prediction appeared on Snapchat and Instagram and Twitter:

Plimberton and Barwell make peace or all shall suffer the bane of Earth's mortality!

"I was totally taken aback," said student Millicent Perez of Camilo Cienfuegos Senior High School. "Did I use that term rightly?" Millicent said that she was googling answers during a pop quiz at her school and noticed a strange smell in the classroom. "Then the air conditioning got super cold and it made the hairs on my arm stand up. Look!" She extended her arm to show the Bluegreenplant reporter that her arm-hairs were still standing up. "When I looked at my phone I saw the spooky message. It scared me so much that I threw my phone in my purse and didn't pick it up again for over thirty minutes. That's why I failed the quiz."

At that same moment that Ms. Perez was receiving the message, people in all four corners of the globe reported the same cold wind, odd scent, and chilling message.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Fisticuffs at Magic City Casino

The Miami Police Department has been holding psychic, Estelita, as a person of interest since word on the street connected her to a murder-for-hire plot.

"It seems that Naptimez Ova! found out about Clift Barwell's location by hiring Estelita and having their tarot cards read," said officer Honrado Gomez, as he put a cotton swab with DNA into a Ziploc bag. The Naptimez Ova! youth gang has been tracking Barwell in order to exact revenge for his being a deadbeat father on their defunct reality show, The Children Who Need Help Orphanage. Officer Gomez continued, "You see, they got lost and only stopped because they ran out of highway in Key West. As a result, they came back here and decided to pool their funds and hire a psychic for twenty dollars. She told them Barwell's exact location and they ambushed him. That psychic's better than a GPS. And it looks like somebody gave someone a bloody nose." He raised the bag with the blood- stained swab in the air with officiality. "We'll get to the bottom of this. No more fights on my watch!"

Although Naptimez Ova! and Barwell scattered from the scene of the rumble, Miami Police are pleased to have Estelita in custody. "She's guilty as sin," stated Gomez as he jingled his extra pair of handcuffs. "How else could they have found him? And you know what? If we get her to talk we will know everything." He clapped his hands. "Everything!"

Monday, May 14, 2018

Bluegreenplant To Remain Neutral in Plimberton-Barwell Conflict

A Bluegreenplant Editorial by Bill Dafferty

Bullies will get no satisfaction from the Blue Green Power Plant. Clift Barwell is at an undisclosed location and Naptimez Ova! can not find an Uber driver who sympathizes with their goal of hunting down a fellow human being, eschewing forgiveness. Cold blood is to say it in a word: repugnant--and this Bluegreenplant reporter has to say that enough is enough!

That is why my colleague, Bill Duckton, has made an appointment to meet Emmy Award winner Clift Barwell at the old Flagler Dog Track, which is now the Magic City Casino, in Miami Florida. Duckton will negotiate an apology so this can all be put to rest. Quite honestly, this reporter is tired of all the pussyfooting and lolly-gagging which have resulted in an endless loop of Barwell/Naptimez stories in the news cycle.

Enough is enough.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Bluegreenplant Editorial: Are Naptimez Ova! Upset because they are not Mad Anymore?

A Bluegreenplant Editorial by Angela Ramos

We at The Blue Green Power Plant cover the news. Not just the reports that are churned out of other outlets, but the stories that other's often refuse to acknowledge. If something happens in Timbuktu or Timbuck-three, you can bet that a Bluegreenplant reporter is there, figuring out if our readers need coverage. We publish not only the news that could put us at risk, but we also publish the newest news. Hence the slogan: From newer news to newest.

If Naptimez Ova! does not want us "spying on them," then perhaps they should stop being so newsworthy. Clift Barwell is a beloved figure in society. He has won an Emmy and his image, until recent years, has appeared on countless Fathers' Day cards. If Naptimez Ova! proclaims that they are going to kill Clift Barwell, the public wants to know what and where they are up to and going.

We hardly make any profits from our work and our salaries are, for the most part, low; so if Billy Plimberton looks more like Barney the purple dinosaur than a brooding Shakespearean Hamlet, we are going to report it.

This editorial ends with a period, not a semi colon.

Tuesday, May 08, 2018

Naptimez Ova! Feeling Guilty about Feeling Happy

Billy Plimberton, the leader of Naptimez Ova!, was overheard on the dockside in Key West, Florida and his tone was decidedly happier than the image he has been cultivating for months. According to some observers, he has been having fun.

"Too much fun," Plimberton scolded himself. "I swore that I would get revenge and now I am just hanging around with my twelve followers and we keep finding ourselves playing games and doing old recycled skits for money from tourists. It's a blast!" He gestured at the Bluegreenplant reporter with an accusatory index finger. "That's off the record!"

"I was going to give them a ticket for not having a permit," stated a local tourism policeman, but they were so charming and entertaining that I tossed my ticket book into the ocean so I could applaud better."

The crowds at Mallory Square may be an indication of a shift in the winds driving Naptimez Ova!--who, whether they like it or not, seem to be putting on a charm offensive. It may even be possible that Clift Barwell has drifted out of their sights.

Saturday, May 05, 2018

Plimberton Army Reduced to Thirteen People

The registered youth gang known as Naptimez Ova!, has been reduced to a size of Biblical proportions. The well-known group of thugs has been wandering the landscapes of North America, much in the same way Jesus and his merry men scoured the Middle East.

"Nock off the analogies!" Texted gangleader Billy Plimberton, causing his contact at Bluegreenplant to respond, "Sic!"

"Sic Semper Tyrannis!" responded Plimberton, demonstrating that he obviously learned about more than just panhandling and pickpocketing from the nuns at his childhood orphanage.

Naptimez Ova! found themselves at the end of the line, having earlier mistakenly taken another wrong turn; instead of seeking revenge in our nation's capital, they observed a postcard-worthy sunset at Mallory Square in Key West, Florida.