Monday, January 27, 2014

Naptimez Ova Bakesale and Carwash a Smash!

"A little strategy goes a long way!" laughed Big-boy Billy Plimberton, the leader of the Naptimez Ova! street gang. "We are known as Naptimez Ova!" he informed a Bluegreenplant reporter, as if she didn't already know who she was talking to. The newly chartered youth gang, after frittering away a large portion of their settlement funds on golden domes, statues of unicorn families, and actors to play their parents, has proactively sought out ways to add to their coffers.

By using an ingenious and novel strategy, the group of aged-out orphans from a Nebraska orphanage and reality TV show raised enough money to fund an educational field trip for every member of the gang.

Billy Plimberton explained. "You see, instead of washing a ton of regular people's cars for one dollar, we washed just one rich guy's car and charged him a couple million dollars." Plimberton checked the time on his Rolex and continued. "Now we have enough for a field trip to South America."

"Are you going to see the ruins?" asked Bluegreenplant reporter Tabby Lane.  She wore a smart-blue jacket.

"Maybe we are gonna make some ruins!" laughed Plimberton in a thug-like and antagonistic way.

The Bluegreenplant reporter's nervousness began to jitter the microphone, but she had one more question. She asked, "What kind of car was it you washed for so much money?"

"Towelamp's car," muttered a lad with cigarette burns on his fingers.

"Shut up!" snapped Plimberton.

William Towelamp was recently declared legally dead by the Mulch Park Diversified Insurance Company. The coroner filled in the blank referring to the cause of death with a simple question mark on the official death certificate.


Anonymous said...

I didn't want my car washed, but was looking for the baked goods. I think those hoodlum boys ate them.

Henry Smith

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. What if they run into Barwell while they are on their field trip!
Roger Fernwood
Pascagoula, Mississippi

Anonymous said...

Those. Golden Domerz scare me, and I not a naturally jittery person!

Mauritania Pepperson
Bangor, Maine

Reggie Fox said...

I thought Towelamp disappeared.