Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Barwell Nabbed by Immigration Agents

Actor Clift Barwell is currently in an immigration detention center. Apparently in his efforts to hide, he ended up in a system of cross border smuggling tunnels.  A fellow subterranean traveler described meeting Barwell. "I was crossing the border in this fancy tunnel, underground; then all of the sudden the wall started crumbling and I was face to face with my  hero, Jerik the Dolphin Trainer. I love that show. Unfortunately, he was all panicky and pale, not nearly as good-looking as he appears on television. He was carrying one of those super-powerful flashlights from the infomercial he does late Saturday nights. Of course, that particular tunnel had its own lighting system so it wasn't necessary."

She continued talking to Bluegreenplant reporter Angela Ramos and finally got to her point. "SeƱor Barwell said he was escaping from a gang of thugs who wanted to kill him. I took him under my wing and told him to follow the tunnel to Mexico to be safe. That was when the raid happened and we were separated. I didn't even have time to take a selfie with him!"

Immigration is mum about the situation. Barwell, however, tweeted that he needed a notarized copy of his birth certificate.

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