Friday, October 07, 2011

Children Jetison Milk in Favor of Takeover Bid

The Children Who Need Help Charity has foregone it's weekly milk bid at the Farmer's Market. Instead of milk, they have invested funds in The Blue Green Power Plant.

"It was all little Billy's idea," stated Sister Mary Engel as she twisted a rosary chain around her index finger, "Little Billy and the other tots." She patted the little one's shoulder.

When approached for comment, little Billy Plimberton played the numbskull and remained mum.

Independent analysis indicates, however, that one percent of the company may carry quite a symbolic counterweight to Towelamp's fifty-one percent at the next board of directors' meeting.

In the meantime, two lawsuits are chugging through the courts. The charity is suing the millionaire for gobbling up their funds. Towelamp is suing the children for damaging his car--two cases on a collision course.


Anonymous said...

YOu call this reporting? You didn't provide a word about Towelamp's condition. How is he doing? Are they sure he hasn't been poisoned?

Archie Leek
Malibu, Tennessee

Anonymous said...

I predict that it will all come down to who has the best lawyer.

Melissa Sweeting
Plymouth, Mass

Anonymous said...

How many cars are those poor kids going to have to wash to get a decent lawyer?

Marsha Tippenger
Lake Wales, Florida

Anonymous said...

Watch out for that Sister Carla Mary. I've heard nasty stories about her.

Sister Mary Carla

Anonymous said...

The real question is: who?

Richard Windmark
Los Angeles, CA