A hero squad of crackerjack mercenaries sent by a private security firm in the USA accidentally toppled the limousine with two famous scientists into a volcano when it maneuvered to rescue the trapped Paraguayans.
"Shit shit shit," said Sir William Towelamp, the head of the security firm. "I knew I would have been better off with Canadians!" He really looked upset as he pounded his fist like a overtightened ball of meat on the fiberboard podium. A microphone squeeked and reporters shuddered.
On the streets of Asunsion, the previously planned welcoming ceremony will be changed to a funeral procession.
"This is a sad turn of events," stated Bill Duckton, who came out of seclusion to comment.
Everyone is sad.