Thursday, October 28, 2010

Oscar Tollenger Randomly Attacked by Reverse Meteorite

A CIA agent posing for over twenty years as a llama farmer in Iquitos, Peru has suffered scratches and severe embarrassment after the outhouse he was using was smashed into smithereens by the same reverse meteorite he had photographed attacking a limousine containing two Paraguayan scientists.

That story was reported in a previous Bluegreenplant story.

"I couldn't believe it," said his native Peruvian butler. "It was tenacious, obsessed, almost as if it was angry at him. I know it sounds crazy, but there seemed to be an intelligence behind it. The crazy flying rock kept on attacking until my boss ran into those piranha-infested waters which, by the way, is a tributary into the Amazon."

So far Agent Tollenger is still missing.


Anonymous said...

It seems this meteorite has a mind of its own.

Sheila Bender

Anonymous said...

I don't think it sounds crazy. Once this car was really jealous of me I almost choked to death on a hamburger while sitting in the car with my boyfriend. The car later tried to run over me. I suspected my boyfriend for a long time, but the car apparently acted on its own. Don't ask me how I knew that.

Leigh Cabot

Anonymous said...

I don't understand this news story.

Evan Maxxis

Freedom, CA

bluegreenplant said...

It is quite simple. It seems that a meteorite which has a creature inside has a vendetta against various Earthlings. It really hates the scientists from Paraguay, who were summoned at the behest of Americans who could not figure out what to do. For a while, the friend of Bill Duckton, Bill Dafferty ( I know it's confusing with all these bills!) was making money by charging people to see the creature in side of the meteorite. This was back at Christmas time. He claimed it was the baby Jesus, but the Paraguayan scientists cleared that rumor up just after they were arrested and deported for breaking their visas and attempting to get work at McDonalds--the same McDonald's where the trash digger who found the meteorite after Bill Duckton's cleaning lady threw it out. The same McDonald's where the trash digger brought it in there and got two free apple pies cause the American employees wanted him to leave on account of the smell.

A coincidence? I don't think so. I hope you have things cleared up Ms. Maxxis.

Tawney Blurton
Bluegreen Junior Staff Volunteer Trainee Intern

bluegreenplant said...

The Blue Green Power Plant would like to apologize for the breach of etiquitte. Bluegreenplant normally does not provide bylines. We work as a team--a well oiled machine. When Tawney Blurton gave her name at the end of the previous entry, it was a professional faux pas. She will be given a warning and allowed to continue with her internship.

Anonymous said...

Tawney, I paid my bills last night, and I can agree with you: it can be very confusing! Glad you kept your internship. I'll watch for your style so I know when you're the author of the stories.

Jefferson Tinkerton
Australgus, Iceland