Sunday, July 19, 2009

Mayor Hecot Smithly Declares Towelamp a Terrorist

Mayor Hecot Smithly of Mulch Park, Nebraska has appeared on a TV news program and declared that William Towelamp is a terrorist, qualifying him for special "enhanced" interrogation techniques from law enforcement.

"He has kidnapped the Odd Prowler," he stated with emphasis, "against his will!"

Towelamp, when reached by phone, stated, "Sir William Towelamp can not come to the phone right now. Please leave a message at the sound of the tone."

The Odd Prowler got lost when he tried to take a Canadian taxi back to Miami from an excursion to New York, where he was reading his new book to needy schoolchildren. The taxidriver, who shares the same nationality as Towelamp, claims to have gone off course accidently when ice cream dripped on his GPS device.


sirwilliamtowelamp said...

This is absurd. The Odd Prowler is my guest and he can leave any time he wants. And please refer to me as Sir William Towelamp.

Anonymous said...

Umm, Mr. Towelamp, could I have your phone number?

Sue McClowsky
Constableville, New York

SirwilliamTowelamp said...

Miss McClownsky,

Look it up in the directory. But you will never find it unless you look up Sir William Towelamp!

Anonymous said...

Special enhanced interrogation techniques will be administered?
Will Donald Rumsfeld be overseeing this event?

G. W. B.

Anonymous said...

According to the Homeland Administration Bureau, new guidelines will be followed and prisoners subjected to interrogation will be interviewed in a "stately manner."

Turtle Johnson
Washington, D.C.