Sunday, November 16, 2008

Billionaire William Towelamp is Now Only A Multi-millionaire

"Due to the flux in the stock-crash market, William Towelamp is now worth about half to a third of what he was worth a couple of months ago, when he began his vigil at the hole that leads to the center of the Earth," stated a noted economist on a syndicated gossip show recently.

Horace D. Ernest of Harvard Community College told Amy Platter of the show "Access the Hollywood Isider" that the Towelamp fortune has been "melting away like a giant ice cube in the sun and if stocks continue to go down, he may end up being homeless again." (Italics: ours.)

The Blue Green Power Plant tried to confirm the story, but the bank refused to confirm or deny any of the allegations, citing banker-client privilege. (Italics: theirs.)


Anonymous said...

Ha! Serves him right, that rat-bastard! Hope he has to eat his expensive shoes, too!

-Mrs. E. Gladstone
(a tenant of Mr. Towelamp, that rat-bastard)

Anonymous said...

What is poor Mister Towelamp going to do?

Archie Cromwell III