Saturday, July 05, 2008

Duckton Criticizes Products in Center of Earth

Magma Can Not Compete With Hickory Charcoal Grill

Pluitzer Prize nominated reporter Bill Duckton has an eye and a nose for detail. He reports that the products and foods in the center of the Earth are clever copies of originals on the surface of the Earth, but with something missing. Duckton's report follows:

Bill Duckton here. They have bookshelves and bicycles and cars here, but they don't seem as good as the ones we have on the surface of the Earth. And the food? Forget it. I had a T-bone steak here the other day and it tasted like a porterhouse steak. And the rice tastes like mashed potatoes. And try to get some salt and you are liable to open up a torrent of gibberish followed by something in a odd bottle that looks like Coca-Cola, but will make you gag when you chug it cause it is so salty.


Anonymous said...

What about video games? Are there video games there?

Victor Smudge
Lakeview, MA

bluegreenplant said...

Bill Duckton included a list of video games that are popular in the center of the Earth. The list appears below. He complained that:"The games are rigged for the other guy to win and just gibberish appears, which comfuses you more than guides you."

car chase
cute animals
big headed guy steps on objects as he goes along
airplain flier
Find the magic gem

Anonymous said...

It sounds like a place that Willy Wonka would live.

V. Salt