The transmission receiver at Bluegreenplant headquarters has decoded a message from our ace reporter, Bill Duckton, who is traveling to the center of the Earth with the mayor of Mulch Park, Nebraska, Hecot Smithly. Bluegreenplant employees are overjoyed to hear that he is OK. This is the report he filed:
Bill Duckton here. We heard a sloshing sound and we looked up, which is now down, and were splattered with globules of wet cement. Smithly screamed like a girl, but I maintained my composure. Soon the onslaught of masonry material ceased and as I turned, Smithly was not there anymore. Somehow we got separated. I have no idea where he is. It is too quiet and creepy down here. Still, my GPS thing is useless. And the magma is highly overrated. Another reporter might be scared, but I am not afraid.