Saturday, March 08, 2008

Tiger Slaying Goat is Number One Attraction

The no-name goat which, in a fit of self-defense, slayed Philatilis, the most expensive tiger in the Soapington Zoo, is now a number one attraction at the Zoo. "He's our prime attraction," stated Rod Wellington, the zoo's animal-media relations expert. "That little bloke is bringing in more money than that bloody tiger ever did. Long live the goat!!!"

As the goat basks in the sun, Philatilis's cadaver is now on ice while the Soapington Zoo Board of Directors decides what to do with the defeated former attraction.


ProfessorWillardAlacranJohnson said...

Knock it off. You are just taunting Sir Willam Towelamp with these stories. I know that this goat symbolizes the Renaissance man or Hecot Smithly and I also have figured out that the defeated tiger is supposed to be Sir William Towelamp. Purge these stories from the blog. I don't care if they are true.

Willard Alacran Johnson, PHD
English Professor

bluegreenplant said...

Dr. Alacran-Johnson,

Just because you are famous, it doesn't mean you can boss the press around.

As you begrudging admit, the story is true, so please let the story stand on its own merits.

It has nothing to do with Sir (sic) William Towelamp.

ProfessorWillardAlacranJohnson said...

You should have used the adverbial form-- begrudgingly. It is a gross error for you to use the adjectival form in this context. I expect more professional syntax from an award-winning newsblog such as yours.

As for your argument about the goat, let's just say, it doesn't fly. Ha ha ha.

Willard Alacran Johnson, PHD
English Professor

Sirwilliamtowelamp said...

Plus they said I was sick and I am not. On the top of that, they spelled "sick" wrong. The quality of this blog is going down.

What does the professor mean about that tiger and goat? Personally, I was glad to read stories that were about something other than my problems with my vacation home.

Sir William Towelamp

poetlaurate4me said...

Those are some bad-ass horns on that goat.

-Steve, the poet

MountainPatsy said...

When will you post something new?