Monday, March 17, 2008

Once Majestic Tiger Taken to the Cleaners

The cadaver of Philatilis, the former majestic tiger at the Soapington Zoo in Soapington, England, has been shipped to a tiger cleaning service in Westerdfordshire. The owner of the service told a Bluegreenplant reporter, "They are going to stuff him and set him up somewhere with a plaque which tells the story of the goat who did him in just by defending himself. That's what I think."

Meanwhile, school children have submitted the name "Hero Boy" as a suggestion for the no-name goat at the zoo, who is more popular than ever.


Anonymous said...

I am soo (sob. sob) sad. Thaat poooor tiiiger (sniff, sniff). This is the worst (hiccup) story I've ever heard (cough, sputter).

-Mona Starling

Anonymous said...

This slouched metaphor and anthropormorphism has gone too far. I beg you to cease and desist.

Dr. Willard Alacran Johnson, PHD

Anonymous said...

My, aren't we pompous.

-X. Goldstein

Anonymous said...

Mr. Goldstein,

Mr. Goldstein,

If I believed for one iota of a smidgen of a second that you knew what you were talking about, I would call you an oblivious and unenlightened philistine!

Since you undoubtedly do not know what you are talking about, I will do the magnanimous thing and give you a pass this time.

Dr. Willard Alacran-Johnson, PHD