Monday, March 03, 2008

City of Mulch Park Drilling on Condemned Towelamp Estate

The city of Mulch Park, Nebraska has set up a giant drill in the spot of the lot which used to be occupied by the fancy vacation home of William Towelamp. When asked about the drill a technician looked from side to side and then whispered to a Bluegreenplant reporter, "This is a Malakov IV, a super-sized version of the Malakov III." The technician then nodded and edged away secretly.

After deep investigation into recently opened Soviet files, Bluegreenplant verified that the Malakov IV is the most powerful drill in the world. Its brochure claims that it is capable of reaching the center of the earth.


Anonymous said...

Whatever they find there is mine, my property.

Sir William Towelamp

Anonymous said...

Watch out for that drill! If they drill too deep, they will reach hell. No joke:
"A geological group who drilled a hole about 14.4 kilometers deep in the crust of the earth are saying that they heard human screams. Screams have been heard from the condemned souls from earth's deepest hole. Terrified scientists are afraid they have let loose the evil powers of hell up to the earth's surface."

Scary stuff going on, that's for sure!

-X. Goldstein

Anonymous said...

Fourteen point four kilometers? That sounds more like Purgatory to me.

Anyway, I sure hope they plugged that hole!!!

Ben Towers

Porcupinetaxi said...

A Russian by any other name is still a Soviet. I say that drilling on Sir William Towelamp's land without permission is just plain wrong.

It's just wrong.

Aiden Carlson