The Renaissance man was injured by a piano which fell three stories from the balcony of the Towelamp vacation home in Nebraska. Spokesman for the Omaha Metropolitan Hospital, Dr. Milo Ottenger, states that, "He is an excellent patient. Whoever did this to him was a horrible person. Surgeons had to remove 23 piano keys from his thigh. He is a very brave patient, under sedation now."
When asked for a comment, the Mayor just groaned and waved.
Towelamp was spotted eating cereal on the porch of his home. When asked for comment, he seemed in high spirits, "Since I am so rich, I push a piano off the balcony every year to celebrate New Years. I didn't know he was down there. Happy new years!"