Towelamp Seized at Royal Wedding

A small commotion at the British wedding recently went all but unnoticed when William Towelamp became irate and began cursing in English. "Bloody hell. I am supposed to sit here!" he shouted as red-coated soldiers attempted to extract him from a seat next to Sir Elton John in the section reserved for Knights of the Empire.

The millionaire Canadian industrialist showed a card that indeed vouched for his knighthood, but then a background check performed by a diligent bobby from Bermuda, verified that all rights to knighthood had been subsequently revoked.

"This sucks," summed up the Odd Prowler when he saw soldiers carting Towelamp away in a carriage. "He doesn't deserve to be treated this way."

After he was gone, the festivities continued, festivities which included two royal kisses.